2022 In Review: An Update Because I’ve Been AWOL and Living Life :P

I really did intend to restart my blog last year. But I’d get as far as starting a post draft, and then forget, and then time passes, and then I’d start over, and restart the whole cycle again with no posts to show for it. However, the reasons I didn’t post in 2022 were far healthier and more compelling than the reasons I didn’t post much in 2021 or 2020. To put it simply, I was too busy taking the steering wheel instead of going with the flow.

Like that seaweed that drifts in and out on the tide and tangles in your feet (and startles the crap out of you, if you’re like me), I have a tendency to just live from day to day and go/do whatever comes my way. Too much planning gives me crippling anxiety, and I prefer to be spontaneous and live in the moment. But I’m an adult human in an adult world, and sometimes there are things I have to plan and obligations I cannot be spontaneously present or absent for. I didn’t learn how to balance this in my twenties, and now in my thirties, I feel like I am only just starting to get the hang of it. At the best of times. Which brings me back around to my blog.

I have good intentions and plans to use my blog. I’ve watched/listened to so many talks about using a blog to develop a “personal brand,” to refine your writing voice, and to keep connected with readers, friends, and families. And I nodded my head, took notes, and proceeded to wait until I had the mental energy to post. Dear reader, as you might have guessed, that ended up being a time I never found. But that was because I was doing other things.

So now, I’ve meandered my way to the point of this post, and if you’re still reading, bear with me and know that I appreciate you. I didn’t post in 2022 because I . . .

2022 HIGHLIGHT REEL

  1. Was editing and posting on Wattpad every week
  2. Was going to musicals, concerts, and festivals
  3. Was travelling and meeting people
  4. Was working A LOT
  5. Was finally starting in on the never-ending lists of books, movies, and shows I’ve missed
  6. Was volunteering and doing things that mean something to me
  7. Was writing and even finished NaNoWriMo (yay!) for the first time in about 5 years
  8. Bonus: 2022 Highlights Playlist and Some More Photos
I’ll go into each one in a little more detail below, and potentially (but no promises) in future posts. For example, under #5, I did an 80s movie watching streak, and read a lot of Brandon Sanderson, and I have many thoughts. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s be orderly and start back at number 1:
  1. Writing and Posting on Wattpad:

If you’re a new reader (I’m sorry), then you might not realize that I started this blog because writing is what I love and what I do. I had a publishing deal that fell through once (another story), and while that set me back mentally, I have never stopped writing. Writing stories has always been necessary to my mental health and living my life, but since I didn’t get some five figure publishing deal and become a breakout star as a teen, I’ve had to live the more normal road of working random and diverse jobs while writing on the side whenever I have the time and energy. I haven’t given up on publishing, but it’s had to go on the backburner for years as I burned myself out paying my way through school and survival.

Which leads me to January of last year, when I finally decided to post up some of my writing in the hopes of having some casual readers and feedback. I used to be on Wattpad as a reader back in the day, and since I was familiar with the site and the least scared of posting my stuff up there,  I ventured into the free-to-read world with The Last Coffee Shop (TLCS). TLCS was a former NaNo project of mine about a tired and stressed barista in a cheerfully post-apocalyptic world, who becomes the unlikely and reluctant heroine of an adventure she doesn’t want (Bilbo-style), and gets tangled up with a clever, dangerous, and oh-so-unreliable bounty hunter in pursuit of a dancing thief. It is wry, often sarcastic, and a little rough around the edges at times, so not for everyone*, and definitely not the mafia-werewolf-billionaire romance stories** that comprise A LOT of Wattpad’s offerings. More importantly, TLCS indulges my pointless love of footnotes.

Considering that Wattpad’s readership seemed to be anything but the types who might read and/or like my work, I only expected a few reads, and I certainly didn’t expect much in the way of interaction. So imagine my shock when a WP bookclub (I didn’t even know those existed), featured TLCS and I went from a handful of reads to about one hundred in just a few months. Those numbers may not sound big, and they aren’t really, but when you consider what I expected and the fact that I wasn’t writing along a trend, you can see why I was so surprised. I was even more surprised when the reactions were overwhelmingly kind, positive, or at least helpful. The bookclub belonged to a WP/Discord group called Dreamland Community (100% recommend), and I eventually joined their server and the selfsame bookclub: Dreamland Raid. Since joining the bookclub, TLCS now has over 1,000 reads, and some people might have even finished it. [Shoutout here to my sister Charlotte’s friend(s) who both finished it, and screamed at her over Discord about it. I have never met you, and I don’t even know your names, but I love you]

While I’m still not as active as I could be, I’ve been getting better, and I’ve really enjoyed reading and commenting on stories that are often far more diverse, creative, and interesting than a lot of what traditional publishing has to offer/will take a chance on. So the goal is to keep going into 2023, and do more. I’m currently posting a revised and edited version of Knight of the Blue Surcoat, a generally wholesome and very unfashionable Arthurian retelling, and seriously considering joining another bookclub and entering some contests here soon.

*Content warnings up in the description on WP                   

**mafia/werewolf/billionaire romance and fanfic seem to be the pillars of Wattpad

2. Musical$, Festival$, and Concert$

2022 will go down in my personal history as the first year I lived my music-loving dreams to the fullest and most indulgent heights. I could probably write six (or more) whole posts about the amount and variety of live music I witnessed, and maybe I will someday, but I’m going to keep this as short as possible and just give the highlights.

The most interesting festival I went to was the Busan International Rock Festival. I finally saw Nell and Jannabi (the ENERGY this man has), and Bastille again (festival Bastille is epic) and fell in love with a lot of new (to me) bands, including Glen Check and CNEMA (angelic vocals, some screamo, a trumpet, and more).

For concerts, there were two standouts: Epik High and BTS Yet to Come in Busan. I have never seen Epik High, although I’ve been a fan for years, and they were, well, epic. They are hilarious, and their chemistry and energy together is unmatched. It was the Epik High is Here tour, so they mainly did tracks from that album (part 1 was released in 2021, part 2 in 2022), but they also did some throwbacks in medley or full form (BORN HATER!). And then Younha (one of my all time favorite singers!) made an appearance and did Umbrella/우산 (one of my favorite songs!) and it was gorgeous. I rarely get emotional, but I teared up, got chills, and had the time of my life.

BTS Yet to Come in Busan was an even more impactful but very different experience. First, there’s the whole part where I managed to get a standing raffle ticket, and it was free to attend. Second, there were the people from all around the world that I hung out with, chatted with (sometimes through the aid of translation apps!) It was a once in a lifetime moment, and I enjoyed every minute of it. The sets, the fireworks, the special effects, the crowd, and of course, the guys themselves, made it one of the most special concerts I have ever had the privilege of attending. And this isn’t even getting into the emotional intensity of the moment. Since BTS (like many other artists) had to cancel a huge tour due to Covid, and they hadn’t performed for a full audience in Korea since 2019, the Busan concert was even more special.

Finally, the musicals. I probably should have had a category just for those. The first musical I saw in 2022 was Jekyll and Hyde in February. I’ve seen it before, and I enjoyed it a lot, so the main reason for going was to see my favorite musical actor: Hong Kwang-ho (I have gushed about this man’s talent and voice multiple times on this blog alone). He was amazing as usual, so no shock there. However, I then saw The Lion KingKinky BootsDeath Note (more on this in a moment), Sweeny Todd, West Side Story, and Moulin Rouge to round out the musicals that I saw for the first time last year. West Side Story was the biggest surprise, being the one I had never been interested in, but considering I saw it with the Kim Junsu as Tony and Leo (from kpop group VIXX) as Riff, and the addition of dance fighting, I enjoyed it a lot!

But Death Note . . . that was the culmination of my journey to Korea, in an ironic way. It was Hong Kwang-Ho and Kim Junsu in the roles of Light and L, respectively, that sucked me back into a renewed interest in learning Korean when I had started to give up. Specifically, it was the video below that made Hong Kwang-ho my must-see artist, and then my favorite musical star, the first time I visited Korea in 2018.

I had listened to every bad audio quality recording from the audience, and I basically had the main songs memorized before I even went. I was fortunate enough to see the musical three times while it ran, and one of those times was with both leads reprising their roles (which they originated in the Korean version), and when I say it was a peak moment of my life, I’m not joking. The singing, the staging, the acting . . . it was far better than a paragraph in a recap blog post can convey. But whatever money I spent on it . . . it was worth every bit.

I ended 2022 with Moulin Rouge, another culmination of years-long fandom. The movie is one of my favorites, for all that it’s er . . . problematic,*** but the artistry. And it isn’t an exaggeration to say that I’ve had that soundtrack on a regular rotation for over fifteen years now. Of course, I listening to the 2019 recording from the Broadway production, and I loved it too (Aaron Tveit is nearly unbeatable!). So when I found out that Hong Kwang-ho and Ivy (another very famous and incredibly talented Korean musical star) were going to star in the first Korean production, I was stalking Interpark (ticketing website) every day for release dates from the minute the news broke. And it went above and beyond my every expectations in every way. Some of the best choreo I have ever had the pleasure of watching, and don’t even get me started on the costuming. But again, this is not the point of this post, so maybe I’ll come back to MR later . . .

***Morality aside, I could write a paper on the merits of the movie, artistic and otherwise. But Hindi Sad Diamonds etc, etc.??!! 

3. Travelling and Meeting People

I’m not the most social creature (to say the least), but I do love to travel. While I only made it out of Korea to go back to visit my family in the US last year, I did manage to travel around Korea a lot more last year. I also joined Gospel City Church in Seoul, the church I’d mainly been attending online because of Covid, and I regularly attended a small group. This led to far more meetups and hanging out than I did in 2020-2021 combined. I also met a lot of friends’ mutual friends, and hung out with people from so many different countries, which was awesome!

Of course, there is always hiking, which continues to be one of my favorite things to do in Korea. But I also did far more urban hiking in 2022. I explored more corners of Seoul, and finally went to Jeju. Jeju Island is just as beautiful and lush as people said, and part of my time there was the long (8+hr) Hallasan hike, and drinking/eating my weight in fresh citrus. With striking black volcanic rocks, windblown slopes, mountainous ridges, and lush greenery everywhere, Jeju looks like the setting for a folktale. The colors of the sea and grass were incredibly vivid, and there is a wildness to the landscape that is different from mainland Korea. Now that I’ve been, I can’t wait to go back.

4.  Work, Work, Work

I’m still at the same hagwon (academy) that I started at in 2020. In 2022, I had the opportunity to teach some more high level classes, and far less kindergarten, which suited me just fine. Some stand-out experiences were talking Hunger Games with our highest level book club, teaching writing to college students, and greatly improving my listening skills by conversing with elementary school students. Our younger students talk in high speed, and have colorful repertoires of insults and game characters’ names. Listening was one of my weakest areas in Korean, and I 100% attribute my gains in this area to my enthusiastic and verbose younger students.

5. Pop Culture – All the Books, Shows, and Movies I Never Have Time For

I read so much more in 2022! Fantasy, nonfiction, Wattpad books, you name it. I also listened to a lot of audiobooks, putting all my hours on public transportation to good use. In books, some highlights were T.S. Kingfisher’s thriller/natural horror novels, Robin Hobb (finally!), The Left-Handed Booksellers of London by Garth Nix, Return of the Thief by Megan Whalen Turner, A Deadly Education (and the sequel) by Naomi Novik, Six Crimson Cranes by Elizabeth Lim,  and my favorite book of 2022: The Red Palace by June Hur. While I read far more titles, these were the ones that really made an impression.

The Red Palace is a historical mystery set in 1800 century Korea, during the turbulent time of the troubled Prince Yi Seon (이선), better known to us as Prince Sado who infamously died after being confined in a rice chest during the summer on the orders of his father. However, the Crown Prince’s tragic and violent story is the background to the mystery, and a sweet, thoughtful, slow-burn romance between an illegitimately born young nurse and a police inspector. Whether you are into history, mystery, or the romance, there is something for you, and even if one of those elements isn’t your bag, June Hur is a masterful, lyrical author who will sell you on the other parts. I highly recommend it, and if you end up reading it, let me know in the comments!

For shows and movies, I don’t ever remember those as well, but I 95% loved Wednesday, watched a great Korean historical film called The Night Owl/올빼미, enjoyed the star-studded Amsterdam, and thought Stranger Things S4 was fantastic. I also finally watched some more 80s and 90s movies (more on that eventually), rewatched old favorites like Terminator, and made far less progress on my to-watch list than on my to-read list, as per usual.

6. Volunteering

Volunteer work and helping in my community has always been something I was highly convicted to do, but was often unsure about how to go about getting involved. However, thanks to some friends and making connections at church, I was finally able to do more volunteering in 2022. In Chungju (the city I live in), I hung out with and did everything from baking to playing outdoor games with students at a shelter for older girls who haven’t been adopted. It hasn’t been easy (they are often shy, and don’t try to speak in Korean or English), but we are slowly starting to develop rapport and relationships with these brave and interesting young girls. One of my goals for 2023 is to be able to do more than in 2022!

7. Writing and NaNo

Last but not least, other than the writing alluded to in #1, I have been writing far more than in the past few years. School burned me out badly, and bouts with self-doubt and depression haven’t helped at all. But thanks in part to my Wattpad bookclub, readers like my sister and her friends, and the generally better place. Just having a writing community that is accessible to me, albeit online, has made a huge difference in my motivation. I wrote over 100K words last year, and I hope to write even more in 2023.

As for NaNo (National Novel Writing Month), I wrote over the 50K words in a month goal, and made progress on a novel project I’ve been tossing around for a while. I also worked on some other projects, and got some editing done. I’m not sure what’s the next step for my writing in 2023, especially since I don’t have a lot of free time, but I am feeling a little more optimistic about where I’m at right now than at the same time last year. Self-publishing is a route I’ve definitely been considering, and looking into that route with more serious intentions is one of the main things on my 2023 agenda.

Well, that was a long post, and thank you to anyone reading this far! As always, comment, let me know what you did in 2022, let me know if you want to hear about anything in detail, or just say hello 🙂

Happy 2023, and raise an imaginary glass to hoping we all are healthier and accomplish even more this year!

(And Don’t forget to check out the playlist and Photos Below;P)

“An Idea is Nothing if it is Not Shared”

I am not a true perfectionist. If you saw my room and my bookshelves, you would know this right away. But when it comes to my writing, my art, or anything I take very seriously (i.e., anything truly important to me), my usual carefree, spontaneous self completely disappears. Instead, I become fixated on the tiniest of errors, the smallest details in my work that suggest to me how worthless and flawed it really is.

I have always been like this.

As a child, I would agonize over any creative work, editing and redoing until there were holes in my paper or I threw my work away in a rush of passionate hatred for whatever idea I had dared to put down in words.

When I am in a more reasonable state of mind, I regret the multitudes of trashed work that I can’t pull out to laugh over now, as an adult. And yet, I haven’t changed all that much.

Of course, this hasn’t stopped me from writing, painting, drawing, etc. Not really. But for the past several years, my creative output lagged, and even died for a time, due to multiple factors (school and restaurant work). But now, living in a place I love, and working at a job I generally enjoy, with most of my weekends at my own disposal, my creative brain has been waking up and ready to start again.

So what was holding me back?

Earlier this year, I was having a soul-searching session in a small hanok (Korean traditional house) in Seoul over the Lunar New Year’s break. I spent a lot of time riding bikes and thinking over those few days, and I realized that my perfectionism and my fear of failure were holding me back from doing what I love the most: writing and art.

Why did I start drawing, or why did I start a story? It was always because I had some burning need to communicate images or ideas that I found worthwhile. Even if no one saw them but me. But if I never even attempted to share them, were they really worthwhile? This question was gnawing me, and I thought suddenly of a tweet I had read in late 2021. Tablo (Twitter @blobyblo) is the frontman of Epik High, one of my favorite groups. He is also one of the wisest, funniest, and most interesting people online. In the thread I’m referring to, he was addressing exactly what I had been thinking about. You can read the thread below:

If I couldn’t believe in my art, turn my “fancies” into real ideas, how could I expect anyone else to?
Tablo’s words became a challenge to me, and finally, I decided to do something about it.

I am not all that good at communicating. I am terrible at keeping in touch, and I tend to disappear and reappear with my moods and energy levels. At this time in my life, I don’t have it in me to pursue agents, traditional publishing, or take the huge amount of time to self-publish something I can put my name on without regrets. So that left free, internet publishing. Still too many options.

Newsletter? Nah.

Serialize on my blog? Nah.

Pass around to friends and family? Nah.

Finally, I decided to publish the same way fanfiction and random drabble make their way on the internet: Wattpad. Why? Because I wanted to share a story, and turn a fancy into an idea. I admit that my biggest fear is that no one will read it. My second biggest fear is that someone will call me out, tell me may work is actually as terrible as I tend to fear. But that is still better than it never being read. And if even one person read it and enjoyed it or gained something, that would be enough.

When I realized this, I was reminded of a webtoon (internet comic) I read called The Omniscient Reader/전지적 독자 시점. The main character is not particularly good at anything other than reading, and he has faithfully read “Three Ways to Survive the Apocalypse,” since the first chapter. Eventually, he became the only reader. When the world is upended and people are suddenly fighting for their lives in “scenarios” that are streamed to viewers (think video game as real life meets The Hunger Games), Dokja (the hero) realizes that the story only he read told the exact way things would unfold. He uses this knowledge to gain literal power as he is the only one who knows what will happen. That story was so important to him and the writer, and I find the metaphor incredibly powerful. To one reader, a story could be everything, and to one writer, one reader can be everything.

If even one person can be entertained, comforted, or empowered, or if any dark power can be dismantled, to paraphrase Tablo, by sharing an idea, isn’t that the real endgame? Isn’t that more important than numbers, popularity, or exposure?

Of course, this conviction isn’t enough to dispel self-doubt. And I don’t really write the sort of thing that could become a lifeline. But writing and telling stories has been a lifeline for me, when I was in the darkest, deepest parts of my head.

So . . . Wattpad.

After all this agonizing, I finally decided on The Last Coffee Shop (frequently referenced on this blog) as a first. It’s completed and generally polished/edited. And no matter how hard I try, I can’t hate it.

So . . . Wattpad. I posted it. Flames didn’t consume my computer, and I didn’t acquire an anti-fan. No one accused me of being the worst writer in the world. I also don’t know if anyone other than my family has been reading it. I don’t know because no one has commented other than my sisters. I am extremely grateful to them and their constant support. But my heart still wants someone to discover it on their own, organically. To read it and connect with an idea that speaks to them. This is still my dream.

I guess I’ll keep posting on Wattpad, because, as I said, the world didn’t end when I put up a chapter online. It’s a challenge to myself, to hone my craft and stick to my own deadlines. To bare my face to anyone who might be looking. To risk revealing myself.

But even if they don’t like what they see, I can be confident that my fancies really are ideas. And ideas were meant to be shared.

<3

Rebekah

P.S. If you read this far and you’re interested, you can find me on Wattpad as WinterFlower

 

 

 

Review – “The Forest of Stolen Girls” by June Hur

“The screen of mist was thick around the red pinewood vessel, as though secrets hid beyond of a land I was not permitted to see. But I knew by memory the windy place a thousand li south of the port.”

(All quotes taken from The Forest of Stolen Girls by June Hur)

I was hooked from these first few sentences. The Forest of Stolen Girls is a lyrical, immersive, and beautifully penned mystery that I stayed up until 4 am to finish.

The Forest of Stolen Girls is a mystery centered on two sisters in 1426 (Joseon Dynasty) Korea, and set on Jeju Island. Min Hwani (the elder sister) narrates the story, which starts as her trip back to Jeju to investigate her father’s disappearance.  Her father, Detective Min Jewoo, disappeared on Jeju while investigating a case of missing girls. All Hwani has to rely on are her skill with deductions, her sense of reason, her devotion to her father, and a burn-damaged black notebook of her father’s that was sent by a mysterious woman named Boksun. And possibly, the help of the sister she hasn’t seen in five years.

Hwani’s sister Maewol is apprenticed to a shaman in Nowon Village, where the Min family used to live. Complicating the story is something Hwani refers to as “The Forest Incident” – something that happened in the woods when Hwani and Maewol were children, and that seems to be related to the missing girls. However, Hwani cannot remember much from their time in the forest, and Maewol claims to have seen a man in a white mask. But everything changed for the sisters that day, and the secrets of the incident are darker and more personal than Hwani realizes.

Since this is a mystery, I don’t want to write too much about the plot, so I’ll just tell you why I think you should read The Forest of Stolen Girls instead of getting deeper into the story.

One of my favorite parts of the book was all of the layered family drama. Hwani and Maewol haven’t seen each other in five years, and they both have very different memories of their father. Their mother died when they were young, and their father raised Hwani with “everything,” according to Maewol. There are years of resentment, secrets, and mistrust for the sisters to overcome, as well as their differing personalities. Hwani is devoted to their father, full of strong convictions, and used to following others’ lead. Maewol is wild, tough, and untamed (according to Hwani^^), but also more fragile than her sister realizes. Of course, their relationship and their relationship to their missing father is the core of the story, but there are other family relationships that play an important part in the plot, and I loved the way both healthy and unhealthy relationships were explored or portrayed. In addition, the surrounding mystery deals with the young women and girls who were sent to China as human tributes. This experience must have been terrifying and traumatic for the girls and their families, and it’s something I haven’t read much about. In the novel, the way the different families have reacted to this plays an important part in both the relationships and how the story unfolds as well.

Secondly, and something I mentioned  in my review of June Hur’s debut novel The Silence of Bones, Joseon Korea is not a location you frequently see in English-language novels, YA or otherwise. Even translated Korean novels can be scarce, which is unfortunate. Anyone who has ever watched a historical Korean drama knows the beauty of the clothing, architecture, and landscape, and is familiar with the rich storytelling. So to find that in a novel is especially unique. However, the Jeju of The Forest of Stolen Girls is far from the elegance and Confucianism-laced world of your typical Joseon 사극/sageuk (traditional dramas including films, plays, or tv series). The wild, beautiful, sometimes sinister Jeju is as much of a character as the humans that populate it. This is where June Hur’s descriptive powers make you feel like you are there with Hwani, in passages like these two:

“A place with jagged coasts and grassland dotted with black lava rock huts, and with mountains layered upon misty layers.”

“Mist rolled down from the hills, pooling over the fields swaying with silver grass, and the mist climbed up the black stone wall that surrounded Nowon Village . . .”

Sadly, I haven’t been to Jeju myself (yet!), but this book made me want to go even more!

Finally,  the writing itself should be enough of a reason. If you read the passages in this review, you can see what I’m talking about. The mystery is well-plotted with many false turns and red herrings, as a mystery should have, but the heart of the story is the bond of two sisters and their narrative arcs. June Hur both evokes Korea beautifully and makes reading about Joseon Korea accessible for English speaking readers around the world. I can’t wait for her next book to hit the shelves (especially since I just finished this one!).

In short, I loved The Forest of Stolen Girls and encourage you to go out and buy it at once. You can find it through an independent bookstore at Indie Bound or other retailers found here. I also recommend that you follow June on Twitter, where she speaks about her experiences of writing as a Korean-Canadian author and her books. If you want to read my review of The Silence of Bones, you can find that here.

Thanks for reading my review! I love comments, so make sure to comment if you enjoyed this review or read the book and want to talk about it (but no spoilers!)

—R

I’m Still Here!

Just in case anyone every stumbles across my blog again, I am still alive and well in South Korea! I have adjusted to my daily life, despite the continued frustration of Covid processes, protocols, and ever-changing conditions. I have also been writing a little and reading a lot, but I’ve been in a dry place of inspiration for a while now (since before I left the States). Even the will to blog or write a few lines has mostly been gone. But offline, I’ve been painting and drawing again, as well as reading, and I just read a fantastic book that made me want to write a review (so look for that next!). Honestly, as far as writing is concerned, I still have so many stories bottled up, and plenty to revise and revisit if I ever decide to take the time to chase after publishing again. But the writer’s block has been real. While I’m making no promises of return to myself (or on this blog), I am going to write a few reviews (I hope), which I will also post on Goodreads.
Until next time, I hope anyone who finds this is doing well!

-R

2020 Reflections and Gratitude

“But that’s only part of the reason I have been inactive. The other part is sincere creative and emotional burnout that has been haunting me ever since I went back to school. I always vowed that college wouldn’t do that to me, it wouldn’t ruin reading and writing and learning for me the way it did for many of my friends. I was partly right – it didn’t ruin anything – but between working a physically/emotionally demanding restaurant job and going to school full-time, I spent 3.5 years yo-yoing between manic-must-succeed drive to finish and do everything 200%, and the sort of apathy that allows days to turn into forgotten years and only scattered moments of “awareness” in between.
So do I regret going back to school?
No.”

WARNING: Long post, mini essay, and TMI/sincerity ahead

As usual, I disappeared off the face of the internet for a while ;). I’ve just had to make peace with this fact about my nature – I come and go and disappear, and so I could never achieve the sort of readership or following like other bloggers or authors do – but writing is part of my identity and continues to be my “true love.” But more on that in a minute.

My disappearance aside, if you have read any of my more “recent” entries (i.e., July), then you know I am back in Korea and teaching English at a hagwon. I have been ridiculously busy – adapting to my new routine and job – and exploring my new home. But that’s only part of the reason I have been inactive. The other part is sincere creative and emotional burnout that has been haunting me ever since I went back to school. I always vowed that college wouldn’t do that to me, it wouldn’t ruin reading and writing and learning for me the way it did for many of my friends. I was partly right – it didn’t ruin anything – but between working a physically/emotionally demanding restaurant job and going to school full-time, I spent 3.5 years yo-yoing between manic-must-succeed drive to finish and do everything 200%, and the sort of apathy that allows days to turn into forgotten years and only scattered moments of “awareness” in between.

So do I regret going back to school?

No.

But do I wonder what I might have done with those 3.5 years? Of course.

Part of all this time I’ve had for reflection in 2020 has been spent thinking about what might have been; not just in the last three years, but for most of my conscious adult life.  And like many people this year, I have had far more time alone with my thoughts in a space where I have to confront myself like never before (Covid social distancing from March, empty days at the restaurant, quarantine in Korea, and my weekly hikes and wanderings for hours ever since).

Now, this isn’t exactly a bad thing – meaning my wondering what might have been – because it can cause me to reflect on choices I have made and appreciate how I ended up where I am. But of course, for someone with a solitary, melancholy, and reflective nature like myself, so much empty time can also spiral into a darker place. Finishing school and being forced to stay home from work suddenly gave me hours of time to myself, and I didn’t know what to do with it. I’m sure that everyone can relate to this. 2020 gave us back time and tore it apart at the same time. I am writing this post at the tail end of November, but my brain can’t decide if I finished school 5 years ago, or just a few weeks ago (it was in December of 2019, fyi). Days that last for weeks, and months that are gone before you can change the daily page on a calender – that is how time worked this year.

And now I’m rambling. But to summarize what I think I was trying to say, 2020 has been unforgettable and unignorable. There’s nothing like a worldwide pandemic to make you reevaluate everything, you know?

When I look back at my last ten years, I have trouble seeing the accomplishments through what I have perceived as failures. When I imagined myself entering my thirties (something I hardly thought about as a teenager), I always assumed I’d live somewhere isolated but cool – a mysterious but successful writer (kind of exactly like antisocial children’s book author Go Mun-young in Netflix drama It’s Okay to Not Be Okay*). I’d be able to travel the world, I’d have several published books, I’d go to writer conventions or maybe ComicCon, and people would know my name (or that of my persona – I always intended to write under an assumed name). That was my teenage dream. And to be honest, that dream still resonates with me and makes me want more. But I am also an adult. Part of me thinks I didn’t become an adult until now. Part of me still doesn’t even know what being an adult means.

My instagram feed is full of friends getting married, having children, even getting pets or advanced degrees. I am not jealous, in fact, I am happy for them. But part of me still feels left behind in a world of childhood fantasies and barely-realized dreams. I have always wanted different things. I have always wanted things that I find trouble verbalizing. That is why writing was like breathing for me – necessary for life and something I didn’t think about – because it allowed me to take feelings and express them with confidence. I say “was” because things changed in university. If writing was breathing, then I was living on a respirator. I used every forced “breath” to succed academically, to help me get good grades when I was so tired every day that only coffee and energy drinks kept me physically moving.

So back to the question – do I regret it?

I thought I did many times along the way, but that was a narrow view of things due to the depression of the moment. There were friends I made, fun I had, and irreplaceable experiences that made it worth the misery and apathy. Would I have made some different choices? Of course. But regret is reflection’s partner and part of being human. Regret can help you do better next time. I don’t regret going back to school, and I am incredibly grateful for the things I learned and the people I met. But I am glad to be awake again.

Despite my busy new job, being back in Korea for the past few months has been a period of rest and healing for me – artistically, emotionally, and mentally – and a time for me to try to find a new dream. I haven’t found that dream yet, but I’m not depressed about that any more. If 2020 has taught me anything, it’s that I have spent too many years worrying about how to achieve “something” and been blinded to any actual accomplishments. Ambition is a double-edged sword.

So back to writing. I haven’t been writing, but I have been drawing, painting, knitting, and creating art in other ways that have always been an extension of writing for me. To be myself is to be artistic, and I feel like it is starting to come back over the past few months. I still have trouble sitting at a laptop for hours, and I find the fragments of stories in my head are still difficult to complete and refine into something coherent on a page. But they are there.

I think I am almost ready to lose the “respirator.”

This has been a bunch of rambling, and if you read this far, thank you for sticking it out with me. And to end this post, I’ll give you a list of 10 “small” big things that I am grateful for, in the spirit of reflection and Thanksgiving.

  1. My workout routine with my sister Charlotte

Thanks to Google Hangouts and wifi, I have been able to workout with my teenage sister back in the States almost every day since I came to Korea. Not only is the working out good for my body and mind, it makes me feel like we are closer together. Through Charlotte, I am able to stay in touch with my family in much the same way I did while living apart from them back in the US. And of course, having a workout buddy is invaluable to a routine and something that can literally get you going when nothing else works. So Charlotte, I love you and am so grateful to you for your discipline, perserverence, and motivation.

2. My “new” housemates and coworkers

Moving to a new city or state is always a bit challenging – and moving to a new country could be even more so. The people around you make a huge difference. I am so grateful to my housemates and co-workers for making me feel welcome and including me from the start in activities, adventures, or even just inviting me to hang out. Whether it’s being willing to walk home with me when they’d maybe rather take a taxi, or spending long hours into the night watching cooking shows, or even just sharing snacks at work, I am incredibly grateful to and for them, and I hope they know that they have been a blessing to me this year.

3. Korea’s plentiful hiking trails

Anyone who follows me on Instragram knows that most of my free time has been spent exploring the mountains and trails near my new home. From manicured and filled with (so many) stairs, or rough and mildly dangerous, Korea has hundreds of trails throughout the plentiful mountains. So far, each week has been breathtaking and my phone has way too many photos in its gallery. Hiking is not only a physical challenge, but its a mental challenge. Hours in your own headspace while you walk, scramble, or climb until your legs and lungs ache is kind of like meditating for someone who has trouble sitting still. A lot of my time out there has been spent in prayer and reflection, and I am always incredibly grateful for the beauty and healing gift of nature when I go outside.

4. Art supply stores

Art and stationary stores are everywhere in Korea, and Chungju is no exception. From adorable erasers shaped like ice cream or textbooks, to canvases and multitudes of cheap fabric pens, these stores are dangerous places for someone like me. Specifically, they are dangerous to my salary. It’s too easy to fill a basket with reasonably priced random things and find yourself forking out more money than you otherwise would think of spending. All that aside, thanks to these stores and their plentiful goods, I have spent many more hours painting, drawing, and doing lyric art than I have in a long time, and it has felt really good.

5. Street food

If you have followed my blog or know me in real life, you probably know how much I love street and snack food. While it isn’t as plentiful in Chungju as in some places I have been in Korea, it’s still here. And of course, there are the usual little kimbap (김밥) and tteokboki (떡볶이) places when you can’t find a food stall. But nothing beats the taste of fresh, blazing hot hotteok (호떡) or spicy chicken feet (닭발) when you’ve been hiking all day and the nights are cold. I am always grateful for good food, but I think if I ever truly picked a favorite food, this would be it.

6. Gospel City Church’s livestream (Seoul)

It’s so strange to me that I haven’t been to an in-person church service since March. It’s alarming, in fact, and my week feels incomplete without that gathering together. Another fact many people may know from my blog is that I am a Christian, and that my faith is very important to me. And of course, there is a huge importance to church and fellowship among believers in the Bible, and this is something I grew up valuing and believing. So I am eagerly looking forward to the day when I can worship together (bodily) with other believers. However, due to Covid, travel difficulties, and my still not-fluent Korean skills, I haven’t been to a church here in Korea yet. I have faithfully attended online services from several different churches every Sunday since I got here. So far, the one that has been the most nourishing and instructive for me has been Gospel City Church in Seoul. One of my goals is to attend in person, but until I am able, I have and continue to be grateful for their gospel-centered preaching every Sunday via Youtube stream.

7. BTS and ARMY (ESSAY WARNING)

Before you laugh at me, or skip over this mini essay, I want you to know that BTS (7 normal but outrageously talented young Korean men) and their fanbase ARMY (i.e., me and millions of others) have put out music and content that has been healing and comforting to millions of us. I am truly grateful for them and to live in the same time. I don’t think anything is truly random, in that I believe everything comes into your life for a reason or a purpose that only God knows. If you want to hear a “professional” take on BTS and their appeal, I recommend you ignore the noise, listen to their music, read their lyric translations, and read this excellent Esquire article by Dave HolmesThe Boundless Optimism of BTS. A lot has been said about BTS – their looks (they’re all absurdly handsome), philanthropy ($1 million to Black Lives Matter, matched by $1 million from global ARMY), and the way they are inspiring Asian or non-English speaking artists by achieving the same popularity and success worldwide that Western/English-speaking acts have – but while all of this is true, it is only one tiny part of why I personally love them and why they resonate with me so deeply. I first discovered their music in 2016, but wasn’t 100% ARMY-for-life convinced fan until I went to their concert in 2017. In 2020, BTS released the show BTS in the Soop on their platform Weverse – basically an hour an half each week of watching them be normal guys in a mountain retreat, building gliders, having conversations, and cooking. It was incredibly comforting to watch. This was added to dozens of livestreams and other video and social content to show that they were also confused and struggling with quarantine life, and from being separated from what they love: concerts and performing. They expressed what I and so many other people have felt this year. More importantly, they released two amazing albums: Map of the Soul:7,  in February, and more recently Be, in November (along with the single Dynamite – which smashed all kinds of records in August). Map of the Soul: 7 is a 20 track extravaganza that varies in tone, sound, and style – from emo to hip-hop to r & b and ballad. I love every song from this album, and I couldn’t pick a favorite if I tried, but for sheer artistry, title tracks Black Swan and On (and their incredible epic videos) are daily listening for me. Likewise, We are Bulletproof: the Eternal makes me emotional, Friends might be the cutest song about friendship ever, UGH! is fire, and I could go on about every track. I have been listening to the album on repeat since February. I think this album is, artistically, on a different level from basically anything out there, and it really didn’t get the attention it deserved.

BE, on the other hand, is like a letter from a childhood friend that you remember fondly but haven’t seen in a while. It reminded me just how much I love more gentle, introspective songs with deep, poetic lyrics. The title track, Life Goes On is about 2020, quarantine, loss, the pandemic, and beautifully expresses both the band’s and the listener’s bittersweet emotions and reflections on the year. Lines describing the time as desperately trying to outrace the rain and realizing you’re only human and it hurts (오늘도 비가 내릴 것 같아/ 흠뻑 젖어버렸네/ 아직도 멈추질 않아/ 저 먹구름보다 빨리 달려가/ 그럼 될 줄 알았는데/ 나 겨우 사람인가 봐/ 몹시 아프네 . . . etc), that are far more beautiful in Korean (lol) as well as the cautious hopefulness of the song make Life Goes On one of my favorite songs in a long time, and something I’ll continue to return to. There are only 6 new tracks on the album (one is a Skit, a spoken word track, and the other is the English-language single Dynamite), but each one is a thoughtful inclusion. Another stand out is Blue & Grey which was inspired by creative burnout and melancholy, and compares those emotions to the colors/shades of blue and grey. This song perfectly expressed my own feelings that I shared in this post. It’s always nice to feel seen 😉 Anyhow, this album was definitely not a strategic move (none of the tracks resemble Dynamite or any current trends in pop music), but a move of love of making music for themselves and ARMY, and it’s a treasure that I am so grateful for.

8. YouTube and Spotify

Whether it’s church livestreams or a new song I need to hear on a loop, I am grateful that these streaming platforms exist and that I can afford to use them. Despite their flaws, they are the path to the comfort that I find in music. 2020 was not a garbage year for music (see #7) or videos, and I found a lot to love via these platforms. Of course, there is BTS (again, see #7) who have destroyed 2020 competition with two (!) incredible albums and loads of content, but I have also enjoyed new music and videos from Evanescence, Within Temptation, DAY6, H.E.R., Jacob Banks, Reik, MAX, Nlve, AILEE, Epica, suggi, Bohnes, Gaho, HEIZE, Dreamcatcher, AKMU, Eric Nam, MAMAMOO, 10cm, Younha, Lauv, Tomorrow+Together, Zion.T, and many, many more. If you’re interested, you can find a lot of these artists on my Listening Right Now playlist on Spotify^^. Even if none of these artists realize it, I (and many other people) are so grateful to them for continuing to put out diverse and beautiful content through such a rough year. It means a lot.<3

9. Kakao Maps

This is probably the most obviously insignificant thing on this list, but I am very grateful for it! Google Maps is hardly reliable in Korea, but Kakao Maps is stellar even up in the mountains. I rarely lose my way (especially in the mountains – they aren’t confusing like a city!), but Kakao maps is so reliable when I’m unsure about where I am at! When you put in a route, you can choose options like walking or public transportation, and the routes have always proven to be good. If you ever come to Korea, I wouldn’t recommend anything else. Kakao really is your friend here.

10. Korean speaking practice!

Finally, but certainly not least, is my gratitude for the ability to practice Korean and lose some of my nervousness. Teaching children with varying degrees of English understanding has really stretched me to use and improve my Korean – just so I can help the kids understand English better! This is natural, but my Korean co-teachers have also been nothing but willing to help me out when I have questions. Additionally, most people are pretty patient with my Korean, and that has helped my confidence and ability to fail and keep going. So my speaking has definitely improved, and my vocabulary is steadily growing. I’m not where I want to be yet, but I can see and acknowledge distinct and rapid improvement since I arrived in June/July. More importantly, my deep interest in and love for the Korean language has only continued to grow, and so I’m so grateful to everyone who has supported me in this goal. 자신감을 가질 수 있도록 도와주셔서 감사드립니다 <3

Obviously, I am grateful to be healthy and have a healthy family, and to have a job and a place to sleep at night. None of those things are taken for granted. Anyhow, I’m sorry if this post was a bit of a slog or a downer. I feel lighter getting it off my chest – and if you read to the end, what are some things you have been grateful for in 2020? Have you found that quarantine life made any changes or brought about any epiphanies? Did you discover a talent or hobby or something new to love? Let me know in the comments, and I hope to “see” you again here soon!

<3 Beck

*I couldn’t really fit this into the post, tonally, but It’s Okay to Not Be Okay/사이코지만 괜찮아 (literally “Psycho but it’s Okay) is SO GOOD. I’m on episode 12, but everything about the drama hits me hard – from the themes to the illustrations! It reminds me of many of the things I have written (though it is cuter and more heartwarming – but with very dark elements), and I love the way it looks at autism, anti-social behavior, mental disorders, and how relationships look when any of those things are involved. I also love how it is a quirky, gothic-romance and fairy-tale inspired, and I love the main actors so much (especially leads Seo Yeji, Kim SooHyun, and Oh Jungse – all favorites of mine!). If you are looking for something different from the usual to watch, I highly recommend giving this show a try.

She just says what we’re all thinking
This sequence literally makes me so happy because I love it

The Quarantine Diaries Part Three

We all know that time is a construct – but never have I felt the truth of that more than in quarantine. Days, times, and time measurement all seem vague and disconnected from reality. And honestly, they haven’t been too important. It’s a strange way of living, and I don’t know if it feels long or short. Like I said, time is a construct. But I’ll pick back up with the 4th of July . . .

Doctor Who Eleven GIF - DoctorWho Eleven MattSmith - Discover ...
Saturday, July 4th

Happy Birthday America! Thanks to my younger sisters and brother, I was able to enjoy some of the fireworks displays back in the States. I absolutely love fireworks, and the virtual participation wasn’t half bad. However, at my brother’s place in Tennessee, it sounded more like a warzone and I had trouble hearing anything he was saying! Other than calling family, I did nothing remarkable on Saturday and just kept reading Scythe, so more on that later.

Sunday, July 5th

My first Sunday in Korea, so it felt strange to know it was Sunday and not have church in the morning. Of course, due to Covid, my home church hasn’t been meeting in person since March, but I was participating in the morning via livestream and Zoom (for fellowship time) like the rest of the church. However, due to the time zone difference, that meant my church service would start at 11 pm (23:00 KST)! In the meantime, I  worked out and read some more. Livestreaming church late at night, while not ideal, worked fine, though I went to bed right after. It was good to see familiar faces of my pastor, the worship team, and other leadership members, and to know I was worshiping at the same time as all of them, despite being halfway around the world. On a side note, the 5th was also my grandparents’ 68th wedding anniversary – which is absolutely crazy to think about. 

Monday, July 6th
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CR: Simon and Schuster – Purchase here

Monday marked a week since I left the States. However, the main thing I did (in addition to eating and working out), was finish reading Scythe, by Neal Shusterman. Scythe was one of the most unique and interesting stories that I have read in a long time, about a future where “natural death” has been eradicated, and death is now dispensed without bias or malice (in theory) at the hands of specially trained individuals known as Scythes. The world is now ruled by a benevolent AI that sees all but doesn’t pass judgement, and war, poverty, and disease have been defeated with death. If people die, they are brought back within days. In other words, life is safe, peaceful, and a little bit bland. Far from the typical dystopian future, the world of Scythe is one of peace and prosperity, which was unique, and even though there is corruption in the Scythe ranks (naturally, because they are the only beings separate from the law and self-governed), most of the world is generally unbothered. The story follows two teenage Scythe apprentices (Citra and Rowan), both reluctant to be Scythes but who accept for different reasons. The pacing is slow at first, and I felt that I was observing the characters rather than getting to know them for most of the book. However, the world and world-building made me too fascinated to care. The concept and execution were both fantastic, and once the story got going, it took off, careening into unexpected places. I would highly recommend it to fans of Enders GameThe Giver, or writers like Neil Gaiman or Eoin Colfer.

Tuesday, July 7th

Tuesday, I did my quarantine workout routine (lots of toning/minimum cardio), and binge-watched several episodes of The Arthdal Chronicles (more on that later). But most importantly – I WAS GIVEN SOMETHING TO DO! I believe that I mentioned that my quarantine is taking place in my new living space, and that other teachers live there (separate from where I’m at, but on the same floor). Anyhow, other than FB messenger chats and the occasional conversation through the door (so strange), I haven’t really interacted with the other teachers. But Tuesday night, the head teacher contacted me with a request: could I make a sample diorama for the school’s English camp coming up in August. Of course, I was thrilled to do it. I would have been excited even if it was something I didn’t already like doing, just because I finally got to feel a little bit useful. After all, I came to Korea to work – not to sit in a room 24/7! While there wasn’t a hurry, I immediately set to sketching a draft so I could visualize what I wanted to do. The theme was dinosaurs, and I already had the book I was supposed to use, so I looked through that a few times for inspiration. Once I planned out what I wanted, I started on the background and basic design of the box, so I could have glue dry before the following day.

Tuesday night, I was also able to meet other teachers via Messenger , and participate in the meeting about the camp. It was nice to see some other people, even if I was separated, but talking about the camp made me want to get out of my room even more. I ended up taking on planning the scavenger hunt as well as doing the diorama. I love puzzles, mysteries, and clue based games, so I’m hoping to incorporate some of that into the hunt (although it needs to be simple enough for English learners, of course).

Finally, Tuesday night marked a week since I started quarantine. I was bored, and sick of being inside (minus my excursions to the roof), but still hanging in there.

Wednesday, July 8th

I spent most of Wednesday finishing the diorama, and I was pretty pleased with the results. While I was limited to what the other teachers could get me/what was on hand, I managed to make something I was satisfied with. I also took some time to work on logistics of a scavenger hunt. I did this up on the roof, despite it being a little hot! Still, it was nice to be outside. I have a feeling that the building’s roof will continue to be one of my favorite places going forward. I can’t wait till I can go up there at night and look at stars or watch the sunset. I’ll have to buy a cheap chair so I have something better to sit on too.

Thursday, July 9th

I spent most of Thursday working on the scavenger hunt and cleaning up my room after the whirlwind of diorama making. This time, I put on the anime of Howl’s Moving Castle (but in Korea with the English subs on) in the background, which was nice. I also found some Korean radio stations to listen too later. I need to be practicing, I know, but I can’t seem to make myself do it yet! So this was the least I could do. By this point, quarantine was really starting to wear on me. I was working out every morning (with my sister back in Michigan via Google Hangouts!), and trying to move around as much as possible, but it has been getting to me. I have never spent so much time inside in my life, and I have found it so fatiguing. Also, my food supplies have dwindled down to the bare minimum, and I am tired of eating canned food. As nice as it is to have, I want to eat something fresh! But truly the worst part is how confined living has both sapped my energy and taken my will to accomplish things. This is made worse by the fact that I finally have tasks to complete for the school! Still, I have no choice but to plug on, so I have been trying to keep a regular schedule in preparation for starting work next week. Although it hasn’t been a fun week and a half, I am glad for the time to acclimate to the time change, at the very least!

What I’ve Been Reading/Watching:

I mentioned Scythe above, but I have also started Kingdom of Souls by Rena Barron

CR: HarperTeen, Buy it here

Set in a West African fantasy world, so far it has been refreshing and well-written. I’m only about a third in, so it’s early enough to know that I’ll finish it, but too soon to know. The world is complex and layered, with lots of characters, cultures and gods to keep track of, but it is shaping into an interesting read.

CR: New World Library, Buy it here

I am also reading No Greater Love, a collection of Mother Teresa’s wisdom, writing, and musings. It’s a calming, soothing read, and perfect for when I’m feeling a little anxious due to being trapped inside. She truly had a heart full of service and compassion, and she’s been one of my biggest inspirations since childhood. I am not too far into it, but I plan on finishing it in quarantine!

Ba điểm trừ trong bom tấn truyền hình Asadal Chronicles - Ảnh 2.
This man has not aged in at least 10 years, maybe 15. (CR: Netflix)

As for TV, I finished the first season of Netflix’s epic Korean fantasy The Arthdal Chronicles, and I have a lot of feelings. A lot. While the show took forever to get going, and is super complicated (speaking of bajillions of characters and gods to keep track of), with a mythology to rival any epic fantasy series, it still somehow kept me watching past the first two 1.5 hour long episodes of story-building confusion. And wow – after the third episode, I was completely hooked on the story and the characters and I had to know how it ended. The final third, in particular, was a whirlwind of twisting plotlines and plot twists . . . and then it ended before the confrontation we’ve all been waiting for. Obviously, it was meant to take up again in a second season, but with Covid (again) and it’s shaky reception in Korea, a second season of The Arthdal Chronicles is an uncertain thing. But. I. Have. So. Many. QUESTIONS!

Drama 2019] Arthdal Chronicles, 아스달 연대기 - Page 32 - k-dramas ...
Spoiler – Song Joong-Ki again – and I don’t know how he pulls this off but HE DOES

A very minimal outline of the story is that it is set in a mythical land called Arth (which is  based on the earliest Korean foundation myths, I suspect), and predominantly in a city called Arthdal (In Korean -아스달 – very similar to Asadel/아사달 – the name of the city founded by Dangun/단군, legendary king of Gojoseon/고조선 – the earliest Korean Kingdom). Anyhow, this fantasy land is a little foundation myth of Korea, a little Bronze Age fantasy, and a lot of other elements all thrown in a blender. There are the Neanthals, an extinct (or are they?!) tribe of superhuman warriors who were wiped out by the deceit of Saram (사람- People/Person in Korean), as well as the mixed blood children of both peoples (called Igutu), at least eight mentioned distinct tribes, and plenty of deities to go with them.

Kim Ok-Vin | Tumblr
The talented and insanely beautiful Kim Ok-bin

However, the primary story line focuses on two groups: three children born on the night of a comet (Eun-seom, Tan-ya, and Saya) – their followers and families, etc., and Tagon, a warrior of Arthdal, his band of warriors, and Tae-alha, a spy that Tagon loves. Again, the story is just too complicated to get into here, but it is a mixture of political drama and fantasy, with sweeping cinematography and beautifully choreographed action sequences. The lead cast is particularly good, with standouts Song Joong-ki (from Descendents of the Sun) as the hero (or the most heroic character, lol), the innocent Igutu Eun-seom who just wants to save his adopted tribe, and Jung Jae-won as Tagon, the complicated warrior with a deadly secret, and even deadlier ambitions. Kim Ok-bin as Tae-alha is also fantastic as the beautiful but duplicitous spy with a tragic and complicated past (think Black Widow meets Madame de Pompadour), and I found the way her character was handled/portrayed to be particularly interesting.

arthdal chronicles – Song Joong-ki
Tagon – a fantastic character that I sympathize with but kind of hate at the same time

Anyhow, at this point I don’t know if I should recommend it to anyone or not, because of that second season thing! But it was a fun (generally speaking) watch and different from anything else I have seen in a while (the dismissive comparisons to GOT are unfair and misplaced – they have little in common). Also, as a side note, Tagon’s warriors (the Daekan Forces) are a complicated mixture of horrifying, scary, and cool, but more importantly, they all look like a strange punk rock band and I find that delightful ^^.

ki do hoon | Tumblr
Meet Yang-cha – I love him, but he is terrifying. Fights with a chain

I also picked up My Country on Netflix again. I was watching it at work back a few months ago, but then it got too violent, so I have started over! So far, the acting, costumes, score, and fight choreography is excellent, but it’s too early to tell much else.

my country | Tumblr
I’m a sucker for tragic bromances, I know

I think I also mentioned the music I am listening to last time, but as this post has already run long (again), I will save that for another time. It honestly surprises me that I have had so much to write about considering how little I have been doing – but that’s better than the alternative, I guess.

In the meantime, I will keep reading and working on that scavenger hunt, and hopefully be able to push through the apathy and finish out strong!

Until next time, <3

Coming Next Post:

  • Quarantine Workouts! 
  • First lesson plans
  • A general update

Thank you for reading!

The Quarantine Diaries Continued

Okay, as promised, I’m continuing where I left off last post – with a delivered breakfast and the Covid test  – so here’s the link to the first post if you missed it.

Wednesday, July 1 continued

Thankfully, I had remembered to set an alarm, so I was up and ready for the knock at the door that meant breakfast. Breakfast consisted of doenjang jjigae (된장찌개 – stew made with fermented soybean paste, and one of the ultimate comfort foods), rice, a fish filet, and assorted banchan (반찬 – side dishes) that included kimchi, mushrooms, and eggplant, among others. I was surprised and grateful to go from plane “food” to feasting like a king, and I devoured everything. I suppose I should have taken pictures, but I was too hungry to think of it till later! I guess I also should have taken pictures of the room and the outside (which I could finally see), but I forgot ;). For anyone curious, outside confirmed that we were in a lodge in a mountainous area that was gorgeous and sadly, off-limits (for now!).

As promised, there was another knock at the door around 8:40, and we (myself and three others) were told to come down. We boarded another van, and drove into downtown Chungju. I could finally see the familiar landscape of rolling foothills, mixed broadleaf deciduous trees, and combination of apartment buildings with more traditional houses and structures interspersed. Seeing that I was *actually* in Korea and not in a space station, a tunnel, or the world between worlds was more of a relief than you’d think, and I felt much greater peace with my situation than I had in the past 48 hours. I think the drive into town was about 20 minutes, but I’m not certain because I was too busy looking at the scenery.

The Covid test itself wasn’t a big deal. I listened to a girl explain the app instructions again (in Korean), and then confirmed my info with her, and then was directed to sit inside what looked like a giant storage bin that had been converted into a tiny, efficient, testing clinic. A person in full PPE took a glorified (reallllly long) cotton swab and put one down my throat, and then another one up my nose (and if felt like into my brain!), labeled the samples, and then I was put back on the bus with the others and taken back to await the results. I think the whole process (minus the drive), took about 10 minutes total for all four of us.

Back at the lodge, we were told that lunch was at 12, dinner was at 5, and that

Travel Coffee Kit: Manual grinder, beans, and Vietnamese coffee press

we would be expected to leave as soon as we received our results if they were negative. So I called a few people, made myself coffee, and worked out in the meantime. Though I knew I would have to quarantine for 13 more days, it was such a relief to be settled for even a few hours!

My lunch dosirak (도시락 – packed meal) also had rice and soup, assorted banchan (반찬), and stir-fried pork (돼지고기볶음), which was all as delicious as the breakfast had been. So far, quarantine eating was a solid 10 for 10 in my opinion, but I still wasn’t sure what to expect for the rest of the time. While people from the school were still keeping in touch with me (which I was grateful for), everything that happened was still a bit of a surprise.

I confess that I slept most of the time after lunch, only to be awakened by a healthcare worker who told me to be ready at 6:30 to go to my next stop because my test was (thankfully) negative. While this wasn’t a surprise, I was still relieved that my good health wasn’t just an illusion! However, I was surprised at the speed with which they received the results: to be tested around 9 am and have the results back before 5 pm was ridiculously fast.  So now I just had to be ready to go by 6:30. Achievement unlocked: pre-quarantine accomplished.

At this point, my “next stop” (or final quarantine destination) had been changed enough that I really had no clue where it would be, but I just nodded and thanked her anyway. As I mentioned in my previous post, there was really nothing for me to do here but just comply and trust! So I made some more coffee, messaged some friends, and played some games on my phone, and then repacked all my stuff so that it would be ready to go. By this time, it was already 5 pm, and time for dinner (already!). Surprisingly, considering I hadn’t done much of a workout, I was hungry anyway, and interested to see what dinner would be. My final meal was a veggie pancake (야채전), more sides, rice, and kimchi jjigae (김치찌개 – kimchi stew – and one of my favorite things in the world, if you don’t know already). The jjigae wasn’t spicy at all, which was a little sad, but I’m not going to complain about free food! I’ve just been spoiled by my boss at the restaurant back in Michigan making it for me with her homemade kimchi, and making it extra spicy. Her kimchi jjigae is my standard. And even if kimchi jjigae is one of the most basic, simple Korean dishes there is – the kimchi really makes a difference – as does the spice level. In my (obviously biased) opinion, the kimchi should be sour (신김치), homemade, and everything should be extra spicy – so the rice and the tofu really stand out. But I digress . . .

Anyhow, before I’d really adjusted to the space, I was loaded onto (another) bus along with two of the other people I’d seen when we went to be tested, and the kind driver from the local government then dropped us all off, with myself being last. I was dropped in front of a T-world (SK Telecom store) that didn’t look particularly promising, and since I still wasn’t sure what I was even looking for, I decided to finally call my new boss and ask him directly. Imagine surprise when the phone was answered by someone about 20 feet behind me!

I met Mr. Greg (my boss), and his wife (distantly, of course! Since I was under quarantine rules and supposed to limit all contact to as little as was humanly possible). They escorted me and my luggage up three floors in what turned out to be my new living space for the next year. I was surprised, as the last I had heard, I was going to an empty apartment. Being in my own living space had several pros and cons. Pros: the other teachers living there could get me food so I knew I wouldn’t starve, I could clean my room and settle in, everyone from the school knew where to find me, and the crucial internet access. Cons: other people live there, so I couldn’t really leave my room, I could get bored of my own living space really quickly, and increased risk of vegetating instead of getting stuff done!

Once I was set up in my room, had the air conditioner going, and was settled, the first thing I asked my new coworkers for was cleaning supplies. The room was more spacious than I had expected, but the former inhabitant had left it rather messy. This was fine, as scouring the bathroom, the baseboards, and all the furniture gave me something to do that night and the next day.

Thursday, July 2

Cleaning and setting up my room took most of my time for the second morning. The previous girl left a nice table and bookshelf, but she had gotten candle wax all over everything. Everything. However, a spoon I found in the room was the perfect tool for scraping up wax!

In between cleaning, some of the other teachers introduced themselves to me via my door and Facebook messenger, which was weird for everyone I think, but really kind of them. While it was strange to talk through the door, it was good to hear voices and know there were other people around. Even better, they brought me ramen, kimbap, snacks, and coffee (which they really didn’t have to do, but of course I appreciated it a bunch!). They also let me borrow some dishes and an electric kettle so I could continue to make coffee (I probably would go crazy for two weeks spent in isolation without coffee). Now that I had food and WiFi, and a clean room, it was much easier to figure out how to spend the rest of my two weeks without going crazy.

Continuing the list of surprises, at 3:20 PM (15:20 KST), I received a text from my boss saying that a government person was there to see me. Since the other teachers had left for the day, I could go downstairs, so I quickly put on a mask and gloves (so I wouldn’t touch any surfaces directly), and went down to meet the government lady. She basically just waved to me, and indicated a box and bag that she had set beside the steps. I thanked her and said goodbye, and then took the things she left back up to my room after she left. The bag had biohazard trash bags (for real), a bunch of masks, a huge bottle of hand sanitizer, and a disinfectant spray (right up my alley, lol). The box was the real shock, as it contained a generous amount of shelf-stable food! Say what you want about strict quarantine measures, but I can say with 100% honesty that I have been taken care of and treated with patience and kindness for every step of the way. Even if I was being stuck in a box for a couple weeks, I haven’t felt neglected at all!

My new coworkers also left another box in my room, which I haven’t mentioned yet. This box contained the Samsung X BTS collaborative earbuds that I had ordered before left the States. I had them shipped to the school address in hopes that 1. They would arrive, and 2. Someone at the school wouldn’t mind grabbing them for me (I mean, they weren’t cheap, so I wanted to make sure that someone put them in a safe place until I could get them). I had purchased a refurbished Galaxy 9S+ before leaving, as my old iPhone was anything but reliable, and the earbuds were the one spending self-indulgence I allowed myself for a period where I would be stuck in place and not making any money.

Of course, since the earbuds said what they were right on the box, I also outed myself as a literal card-carrying ARMY (SK band BTS/방탄소년단 official fan, if you didn’t already know that). Considering I am pretty obvious about it anyhow (lol), this and my love of hiking and reading might be the only things anybody who hasn’t met me knows about me for sure. So the other teachers are now no exception.

We interrupt this post for a mini review of the Samsung Galaxy Buds+:

But back to the actual earbuds. In addition to being the most vivid shade of royal purple imaginable (if you don’t know the connection between BTS and purple, google the phrase “I Purple You”), the earbuds fit perfectly (unusual for me), and had several removable tips/heads to ensure the most perfect and comfortable fit. I tested all the advertised functions – ambient sound filters, tapping commands for skipping songs/pausing music/ending calls, etc- and found them all to work as advertised. The sound quality was fantastic, comparable to having a Bose for your ears. The mic was also surprisingly strong for something all the way up in my ear, which was cool. Most importantly, they stayed in during my workout, and as long as I paused the touchpad function, they didn’t pause my video. As for battery life, it appears to be pretty long. The website advertises 11 hours of play time (for the Galaxy Buds+), and an additional 11 from the case, which doubles as a portable charger. I think I used them for about 4 hours on and off for phone conversations, workout videos, and then music, and the charge went down by less than a third, so I’m sure it depends on exactly what you’re doing (like most Bluetooth headphones). However, my Galaxy’s battery does drain pretty fast with the Bluetooth on, but with the custom battery usage feature, I am able to manage that okay. I just need another portable charger! And speaking of chargers, since I pre-ordered the earbuds, I received a beautiful purple wireless charger that works with the earbuds and my phone, which was an awesome bonus. Also as advertised, the earbuds pair automatically with my phone when I take them out of the case, and they start back up on whatever I was listening to previously as soon as I tap them.

As for the aesthetics, this was the real selling point of the special BTS edition: all the purple! Since I have a Galaxy, I also got a free theme for my phone, two sets of photo cards (if you don’t get this, ask me later) and a cute little animation of chibi BTS that plays when I open the case and the earbuds reconnect. Everything was packaged neatly in layering black boxes decorated with stars and hearts to emphasize the “galactic” theme. I love fun packaging, but I’ll just put pictures instead of continuing to gush over it. The case is also metallic royal purple, as is the sturdy outer smart case/protector, which has the BTS logo on it and says “I purple you” on the inside. So overall, 5 out of 5 stars – would highly recommend regardless of if you care about BTS or not (and hey, they have other colors).

*Check out the end of this post for a few videos of the earbuds

Friday, July 3 – The Real Beginning of My Bertha Life

So, back to quarantine. By the afternoon of Friday, I was really starting to feel isolated and bored. While I was able to do a longer workout, I really wanted to go outside. I waited until everyone had left the building, geared up (mask and gloves), and went up on the roof. This was a MUCH BETTER view, and just being outside lifted my spirits, even if it was hot. I still felt personally taunted by the mountains, but it was better being up high. This venture outside was the first of many escapades while I had the building to myself. Still, wandering around while everyone is gone makes me feel a little like the daytime version of Bertha Mason/Rochester (Mr. Rochester’s secret, crazy wife that he hides in his attic in Jane Eyre). When I’m more productive, I feel more like Rapunzel. Time will tell which one becomes more accurate though (hopefully the latter!) In the meantime, I just have to make sure that I set good habits for myself, since two weeks is enough time to set habits, after all.

This post is already super long, so I’ll sign off for now. But stay tuned for part 3 of my Quarantine Diaries! Let me know in the comments if you have anything I should watch, read, do, etc., or if you have any questions. I have . . . nothing but time . . .

Coming Next Post:
  • What I’m Reading: Scythe by Neal Shusterman,No Greater Love by Mother Teresa, and Kingdom of Souls by Rena Barron (and a bunch of kid’s phonics books)
  • What I’m Watching: The Arthdal Chronicles (Netflix) and My Country (Netflix)
  • What I’m Listening To: New Evanescence!, Bohnes, STAY GOLD, Hwasa, Agust D, The Hamilton Mixtape, and more.

Until next time <3

The Quarantine Diaries: Korea or Bust

Like many of my good intentions over this strange, Twilight-Zone period that 2020 has become, my intentions to blog regularly since April did not come to fruition.

I had a moderately good excuse, which I alluded to in my last few blog posts (here and here) – which was my continuing efforts to get an E-2 visa so I could return to Korea as an ESL teacher. Due to Covid-19, the paperwork and application process dragged on from the end of February (when I got the ball rolling), to the end of June. The problem with this was that I was lined up to teach English at a hagwon (학원 – private after-school academy) in South Korea, and was trying to get there as soon as possible. There is a very precise string of steps to procuring said visa (which has been discussed ad nauseum on many excellent websites, so I won’t go into detail here – though feel free to ask me about it in the comments!)

CR: Disney, Source: Pinterest

It is kind of a long process anyhow (with mailing times and all), but Covid slowdowns/shutdowns made it all (understandably) a lot slower – and I honestly wasn’t sure that it would all work out until my visa was approved mid-June.

So if you are supposed to be starting a job at the beginning of July, mid-June is not when you want to be waiting for your passport to come back. It is more crucial than ever to have a reason to be travelling, and to have everything ready beforehand. It’s also important to research the ever-changing situation in the country/place you plan to go to, so of course I was subscribed to every update on current travel in and to Korea. However, due to the rapidly changing situation, I ended up being in for a wilder ride than I had bargained for . . .

But I’m getting ahead of myself. I didn’t get my passport until three days (!) before I was due to fly out.

Purchasing that flight wasn’t as much of a gamble as it sounds like – I had tracking info for my passport – but it still made me uneasy. It was also not cheap to leave the country last minute, so the sticker shock wasn’t fun either. However, by Monday, June 29th, I found myself at the smallish local airport, passport and visa in hand, and headed back to Korea for the first time in almost two years.

Monday, June 29:

My flights were fairly straightforward. There was a long layover in Detroit (6 hours of boredom), and passengers were required to have their temperature taken and to fill out agreements to quarantine and travel record declarations. With no fever and papers in hand, we all boarded the most vacant flight I have ever been on. People on the plane were all wearing masks, and seated one person per row if possible. On an international flight, this makes it far more comfortable as well as safer during a pandemic.

Since I had gotten up early (4 am), and not been sleeping much because of all the stress/last-minute shenanigans, I actually slept for most of the 14-ish hour flight to Seoul. Having paced the length of the Detroit airport for a few hours probably didn’t hurt as well. In flight, I watched Frozen 2 in Korean, which was fun, and some of the Chinese animated film Nezha, which I have mixed feelings about but I will save for another time. However, despite my grand plans to work on the sweater I am knitting and read all the books I had downloaded, I honestly just didn’t feel like doing much once I finally got on that flight.

So up until we deplaned in Seoul, everything was pretty much the same as usual, albeit with less people and masks required. However, instead of being greeted by someone in hanbok (한복 – Korean traditional dress) and directed to immigration like last time, I entered the large holding room before immigration to find things to be quite different indeed.

Tuesday, June 30

First, there were all the informational posters and standees printed in block text in several different languages (Korean, English, Japanese, Chinese, and Vietnamese were the ones I remember seeing) with dire warnings about what would happen if you refused to comply with the quarantine process/rules upon landing in Korea. Most of them ended in large fines and immediate deportation. While all the loud signs were intimidating, the members of the Korean Army who were handling everything were professional, helpful, and patient. They kept encouraging the people being processed (there were more than I expected) to be calm, especially if they were foreign or had small children. Everyone processing the arrivals was decked out in head-to-toe white protective gear, masks, and face-shields, which made it look more like a lab than an airport.

First, we were instructed (or helped, depending on the person), to download the newest version of the government’s Self-Quarantine App, which the Ministry of Interior and Safety designed for people to be monitored by case workers. While the GPS tracker will alert the local government and the user if someone “breaks” or leaves their quarantine, the quarantined person is responsible for updating their symptoms (or lack thereof) and status twice a day via the app. Downloading and using the app was mandatory for everyone arriving from an international flight, Korean national or otherwise, unless a person had a special exception (such as short-term diplomatic exceptions, etc.), which they had to have applied for in advance and received the appropriate clearance and documentation for.

The app requires a contact-person in Korea (I put down my new boss), and quarantine address in Korea, as well as basic passport info. Once you successfully download it and demonstrate that you can use it, you are put in line (an orderly line where people kept their distance), and processed by another officer behind a transparent plastic shield. This officer asked basic questions confirming the info on the app, and for me, looked at my passport and E-2 visa and had me verbally confirm what I was doing in Korea. Then he called my contact (while beside me, another officer did the same for a woman joining her husband in Seoul), and confirmed the address. Again, this was straightforward and simple enough.

Next, I was handed another signed form to carry (I had about 4 at this point), and directed to the immigration paperwork. This part involved 5 or 6 more forms to fill out, basically reiterating all the previous information (quarantine address, sponsoring or supervising contact in Korea, passport info, business in Korea, etc). This took about 10 minutes, mainly because I read them all carefully before signing them (lawyer’s daughter), and double-checked the info. I was then directed into a third line, and proceeded to two stations, where officials checked and stamped/signed the documents I had filled out, as well as examined my visa and passport. Despite the number of people being processed (30-40, I think), the lines moved quickly and were very well organized. Everything was also clearly marked.

After all this, I made it to the immigration officer (the first part in this process that was identical to my previous trip), and she had me take a (terrible) photo and took the fingerprint scan. She also made me sign part of a document that I hadn’t previously signed, which was for short-term visitors. I objected, but she basically waved me off and told me to do it (I wasn’t a short-term visitor, but a long-term visitor, and the rules are very specific for each group). But you don’t argue with immigration officers, so I took the blue lanyard she gave me with misgivings, but went on my way.

Now, finally, I could grab my luggage. It had taken about an hour and a half (felt longer) to get from the plane to customs with all the new quarantine measures. Once I went through customs (short and easy, as I have very little money, my clothes, and nothing illegal, lol), there were more military officers in PPE seated at tables and categorizing/processing people for . . . you guessed it, more lines! The nice man I talked to saw my tag (the one I had bad feelings about) and told me to go to the government quarantine line. however, as I mentioned before, my boss had arranged a place for me to quarantine in Chungju (충주시 – where I will teach), and I was supposed to come straight there. I explained in English, and then as much as I could in Korean, and the officer called his superior officer, and directed me to wait. The two of them sorted things out in about three minutes, so I didn’t wait long. I was correct about my status as a long-term visitor, but they had been confused by my lack of an ARC (Alien Registration Card – required for long-term visitors to Korea. I have had one before, but you have to surrender them on departing Korea if you don’t plan to be back in less than a year). However, I did have a long-term visit permit (the E-2 visa), a sponsoring organization, and a place to stay, so they took the lanyard back and instead put me in a line for buses away from the airport. Another officer asked (this time in Korean), where I wanted to go, so I told them Gwangmyeong Station (광명역), and was again told to wait with a smaller group of people.

We waited for about 10 minutes, and then we were taken downstairs to wait for the bus. They were limiting the number of people, so I wasn’t able to go until the second bus at 8:40. By this time, I was thoroughly exhausted, and a little stressed about money (I hadn’t had the ability to go exchange cash or visit an ATM), so I could only pray that my cards worked if I had to pay for something. However, we were directed onto the bus as a group, and no payment was taken, which surprised (and relieved) me. The bus ride took about an hour and a half, and during that time I charged my phone (charging ports in the seat!), texted my boss and my parents (I have free texting in Korea, so that’s a relief), and tried to relax. It was dark and raining, so I couldn’t seem much more than snatches of city lights, adding to the feeling of being in some in-between. I could have been anyplace in the world (or stuck in the sequel to this Honda commercial :/)

CR: Honda, Source: Roadandtrack.com

Once we arrived at the station, we had to follow another clearly marked route to purchase tickets for the KTX (high-speed trains). This was the first (and last) place that I was prompted for money, so thankfully my card worked. Despite arriving in Korea just after 5 pm, I just barely made it to the KTX station in time for the final train (departing at 10:36) to Osong (오송), where my boss said that government workers would meet me for the final leg of my trip.

I managed to drag my luggage onto the train, but I was so tired I couldn’t seem to even push the button on the door to the train car! I finally got it to work (though I felt like an idiot), and collapsed into my seat for the half-hour ride. By this point, it all felt surreal, like I was dreaming or remembering something that had happened. And when I got off the train, it got even more surreal as a nice health worker helped me drag my luggage through a deserted train station and out into the pitch-black rain. He took me to the farthest corner of the lot, which was marked off by yellow caution tape, and we loaded my bag onto a bus with only one other passenger. The driver confirmed with the worker that it was only two people, told me to sit down, and then we rattled off into the darkness on my second bus of the evening. My phone was at about 40% battery, and I had lost my portable charger in Detroit (naturally), but at this point, I just had to trust that I was doing what I was supposed to. I put my phone on ultimate power-saving mode and tried to get comfortable.

I don’t think I realized how long the bus ride was going to be (or it seemed longer than it was), but I fell asleep on my luggage, only to wake up and see that we were still hurtling round curves in the darkness. The rain was also still going strong, so I still couldn’t see much more than the blur of scattered lights outside. I checked my phone, and it was 12:35! My brain was completely fried, and I wanted a shower more than I had ever wanted one in my life (despite my many epic hikes and having lived on a farm), but I was starting to wonder if we were going to just switch transportation methods and drive around until after sunrise (when more things would be open again).

CR: Disney, Source: Reactiongifs.me

I mean, I hadn’t wanted to pay for a hotel or anything, but this wasn’t the alternative I’d had in mind . . .

Wednesday, July 1

However, much to my relief, the lights came on in the bus 10 minutes later, and we pulled up by an unassuming 3-story building. The other passenger (a man who was probably a few years older than my father) and I dragged our luggage off, thanked the driver, and then proceeded to drag our luggage through the rain and into the foyer of this new building. We were met by two women, one a little younger and one a bit older than myself, who greeted us, and proceeded to fire off a string of instructions in Korean, all aimed at the gentleman. Despite my fried brain and exhaustion, I understood that breakfast was at 7:00 am, and would be delivered to our rooms, and that we would be escorted to take the Covid test at 8:30 am, and that if we needed anything, we were to text the number we would find in our rooms. After this, they handed him a room key, Shin Ramyun, and Choco Pies, and sent him to the elevator. Then they turned to me, and asked if I could speak Korean. I told them “not well,” but that I had understood the instructions. Still, they used Papago (the only app you should ever use for Korean/English translation, in my opinion) to make sure that I understood exactly, which was kind of them. Then I too received a room key, ramen, some Choco Pies, and was sent upstairs.

Normally I am a stairs person, but I’m not that stubborn – I was happy to take the elevator with my luggage, even if it was only up one floor. Inside my room was a shower (I literally felt like crying), a fridge, a tv, a couch, a bed, a water heater, and two bags with bedding and the instruction sheet inside. The room was all paneled in wood, adding to my suspicion that this was some sort of lodge. Naturally, I dumped all my stuff on the floor and took a shower first. Afterwards, I texted everyone to let them know I was safe, and then ate the Choco Pies because I was finally hungry (I hadn’t eaten anything since 4:30 on the plane). Finally, I flipped on the TV and watched some men hunt wild ginseng until I finally passed out. The whole transit time from when I left my parent’s house at 4:50 am to when I finally arrived at a bed was about 30 hours, but it felt more like three days!

Of course, this wasn’t the end of it all – more like a pre-quarantine quarantine, but it was a relief to be in one place, even for a little bit. Despite all my intentions to bring barely anything to Korea this time (due to last time and the circus of hauling three bags!), the jury is still out on whether I need to drag around what I brought. However, this time I have to be able to go 2 weeks without doing laundry or leaving my building/room, which was something to factor in. As well as the fact that I will have to be here for four seasons, which means my winter coat and hiking boots were as necessary as summer clothes. While there are a lot more uncertainties than last time I was in Korea, I’m just excited to be here, and ready to start a new chapter of my life.

Coming next post:

  • Covid test
  • Cleaning Spree 1
  • Becoming Bertha Mason/Rochester . . .
  • Special Edition BTS x Samsung Earbuds (the most purple things ever)
  • Quarantine Cuisine
I plan to post sometime in the next two days, so let me know in the comments if you have any questions! Thanks for reading, and I’ll try to update more regularly (and next time I will have pictures).

<3 Beck

My Last Two Weeks In Books (featuring the return of THORN!!)

Amy Adams Me Party GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY
We’re all having me parties these days

Well, social distancing continues (please stay safe and stay home, everyone!!), and I have (easily) managed to read more books in one week than I read in the first two months of 2020. Reading is my favorite refuge from the chaos and confusion outside and on the news, and while I don’t have the mental energy or inclination to review everything I read, here is a summary version featuring reaction gifs and random ramblings <3

Image Credit: Indiebound.com

First off – I read and reviewed The Silence of Bones by June Hur. You can read my review here, and read more about Ms. Hur (she seems like such a sweet, genuine person, so please support!!) here. My review gives my in-depth thoughts and feelings about this title, but most importantly, I loved it and can’t wait for more from her!

This book is a definite bullseye – 10 out of 10

Image Credit: Indiebound.com

My next favorite pick of the week was also YA, as I’ve been striking out in the adult novels lately. Honestly, Not Even Bones is actually more of a New Adult title, as the characters skew older, and the plot concerns illegal trafficking of body parts and non-human creatures, as well as a fair amount of violent content (content/trigger warning here). Not Even Bones is the first in the Market of Monsters series by Rebecca Schaeffer. I decided to read this after discovering the webtoon (read here), which I loved instantly. Not Even Bones tells the story of teenage Nita, who disects bodies of “unnaturals” (i.e., nonhumans/monsters with special abilities) for her mother (who was a cross between Dexter, Van Helsing, Black Widow, and an old-fashioned serial killer). Nita rationalizes this by the fact that the bodies her mother brings back are always dead and generally dangerous, and Nita has had nothing to do with their demise. And her mother is . . . intimidating, to say the least. While dissecting to her Disney playlist, Nita dreams of going to college and becoming a famous scientist.  After Nita decides to defy her mother by helping the first living body her mother brings home, things naturally, don’t go as planned. I’ll avoid spoilers, but I loved the complex morality of the story, Kovit (the Thai antagonist (or is he?) who eats pain), Nita’s sociopathic consistency, and the book’s fresh take on monsters and monster legends. If you like Dexter, SherlockVan Helsing, Tokyo GhoulRot & Ruin, or Attack on Titan, I’m pretty sure you will also enjoy this book. (Also – if you join Scribd.com with a free month of membership right now, you can read the ebook for free!) I am currently reading the sequel, Only Ashes Remain, and it continues to be strong so far.

I feel like half the characters in this book were telling themselves this at intervals 

Image Credit: booksbyintisar.com
Image Credit: booksbyintisar.com

Next up is a book that I first discovered in 2015, which has been on quite the journey in the past few years. Thorn, by Intisar Khanani, first caught my eye on Goodreads due to the gorgeous cover art. When I found it was an indie retelling of The Goose Girl fairytale, I bought a copy and fell in love with Khanani’s prose, worldbuilding, characters, and gift for beautiful storytelling. You can read that review here. Anyhow, I was thrilled for Intisar when I heard that Thorn had been picked up by HarperTeen in 2017, and I have been patiently waiting for it to be re-released in an updated and revised version. I preordered the e-book as soon as it was available, and I finally was able to re-discover the story back on March 24th, its release date (order here!).

Now, my original (and ONLY) critique of Thorn was this: “It was too short! I would have loved to read more about this world and its people, and I want to know more about the mentioned Fair Folk. There were so many elements hinted at in the story that, while not bearing on the plot, intrigued me.” (Copied from my original review). Imagine my delight when the re-release of Thorn expanded on the world, characters, and side plots! Roles of certain characters are also expanded (but I don’t want to spoil it for anyone, so I won’t tell you!!) In other words, the re-release of Thorn  was a solid five out of five stars for me. If you haven’t read it, Thorn is the story of Alyrra, a princess who is abused and underestimated by her family, but finds comfort and friendship in spending time with the servants and ordinary folk in her kingdom. When she is betrothed to a foreign prince and sent away, things go terribly wrong, and eventually Alyrra must choose between doing what she wants and doing the right thing. If you like fantasy, folklore, strong heroines, good plots, beautiful writing, or adventure stories, then you should read Thorn ASAP.

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Finally, I read a bunch of novels I had sitting around, but none of them were good enough to mention here. I’m trying to sort through my books and stuff and keep only what I really need, just in case. As a side note, two of the books were mysteries, and one was a thriller, and they all had the same problem: fizzling out in the third act. When you read a mystery or thriller (or horror), there is the crucial build up to the big reveal, the face-off with the killer, or the moment the main character realizes something huge that changes the whole story. And then it should quickly unravel and tie up whatever ends it needs to, while leaving an element of lingering unease. At least, this is my opinion. This is a huge problem in both books and movies I have seen lately – when a story promises an epic climax but delivers a mediocre peak that flattens to a  little dead line of a resolution.

Disappointed Harry Potter GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGhost stories and murder mysteries are some of the worst offenders. You find out what/who the ghost is, and why it is haunting/causing havoc, or you find out that the murderer has been fooling you all along and is someone you thought you could trust, but in either case, their is a risky plan in motion to trap the murderer (or defeat the ghost), and the reader is flipping pages as fast as possible, almost afraid to read the words . . . But then, it all easily unties- the ghost turns out to be your best friend and lets you go without a fight, or the murderer trips on a rock and goes unconscious and then the rest of the police force closes in and cleans it up while the detective watches. Disappointing, right? Now, I’m sure there are authors out there who could make this work somehow. But that’s not the majority of us. Most of us need more weight to our novel’s climax, higher stakes, and to put the reader in a little more agony. But I’m not getting that. It has been a long time since I read a thriller with a really good third act, and if anyone can think of one, let me know!

Well, that was it for me – but I want to know if you read anything interesting in the past two weeks? How are you spending your social distancing time? Let me know in the comments. In the meantime, stay home if you can, stay safe, and remember to be kind.

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“The Silence of Bones” by June Hur (ARC Review)

“I HAVE A MOUTH, BUT I MUSTN’T SPEAK;
EARS, BUT I MUSTN’T HEAR;
EYES, BUT I MUSTN’T SEE.”

Image Credit: Fiercereads.com ISN’T IT BEAUTIFUL – THE BLUE IS . . . WOW

Official Synopsis(copied from June Hur’s Website):

“1800, Joseon (Korea). Homesick and orphaned sixteen-year-old Seol is living out the ancient curse: “May you live in interesting times.” Indentured to the police bureau, she’s been tasked with assisting a well-respected young inspector with the investigation into the politically charged murder of a noblewoman. As they delve deeper into the dead woman’s secrets, Seol forms an unlikely bond of friendship with the inspector. But her loyalty is tested when he becomes the prime suspect, and Seol may be the only one capable of discovering what truly happened on the night of the murder. But in a land where silence and obedience are valued above all else, curiosity can be deadly.”

(required disclaimer: I received a free eARC from Net Galley in exchange for a fair and honest review) - any quotations refer to ebook locations, and may not be final text

Sometimes a book grabs you before you even read it – which is exactly how I felt about The Silence of Bones. I first heard about it over Twitter when I was looking for more English-language novels about Korea. It wasn’t near publication, but there was a deal and a date, and April of 2020 seemed a world away. So I saved the tweet, and followed the author, June Hur, and proceeded to do what every devoted reader does: wait.

So I was ecstatic when I got the approval to read the advance readers’ copy, and I finished it in one sitting. From the first page, I was thoroughly immersed in Joseon Dynasty Korea through the eyes of teenage Seol. I also freaked out because she starts the narrative standing outside Changdeok Palace (Changdeokgung/창덕궁), which was the first palace I visited in Korea and a place I fell thoroughly in love with. So that was an extra level of cool, for me personally. But that’s beside the point. Even if you haven’t been to Korea, or watched a Korean historical drama, Ms. Hur’s writing plunges you into the sights and sounds, and most importantly, the politics of the later Joseon dynasty.
Rumors, assassinations, officers that are arrogant jerks, crime scenes and omens pop up just in the first two pages. Seol is a police damo, an indentured servant for the police force, which means that she is required to do everything from sweeping or serving tea to handling the corpse of a murdered noblewoman (according to Confucian law, men were not able to touch women who weren’t directly related to them – inconvenient, much?). Though she is smart, observant, and loyal, Seol bears a brand on her cheek from a failed attempt at running away that forever marks her as a servant – a member of the eight lowest groups of people (Loc. 86). Despite her circumstances, she is driven to seek more, and get better than she supposedly “deserves” throughout the novel, which is something I found both relatable and refreshing in a teenage heroine. In fact, the themes of “worth,” “place,” “role,” “identity,” “loyalty,” “family,” and especially relating to those aspects as a woman in a seemingly powerless position, are some of the threads that bind both Seol’s actions and the overarching narrative together.
As a damo with a keen eye and curiosity, Seol catches the notice of high-ranking Inspector Han, an upright (or is he?) man working on the case of the noblewoman’s corpse. Of course, this turns out to be a mixed blessing as the case becomes more twisted, with a foreign Catholic priest, secretive noblewomen with scandalous ideas about equality, and dark family secrets. Weaving history, mystery, and immaculate details to make you envision Seol’s Korea, The Silence of Bones both fulfilled my need for novels set in Korea and made me wonder why there aren’t more of them out there!! (Send any recs my way if you have them)

I don’t want to write too much more about the actual story (because it’s a mystery, so you know, spoilers, but I will give you five more reasons you should pre-order and read this book ASAP)*

  1. Seol. She is brave, smart, tenacious, loyal, and always pursuing knowledge. But most importantly, she feels authentic – to her time, culture, past, character, and age. I loved her, was frustrated with her, and empathized with her even when she was heading a direction I knew was a wrong turn. I would read any other books with her.(Image from Ruler: Master of the Mask)
  2. The writing. June Hur’s prose is crisp but beautiful, an excellent vehicle for her story but not inaccessible for readers who have never heard of the Joseon Dynasty. She really helps you see the streets, the clothes, and the risks, as well as get a feel for the depth and richness of Korean history and culture.
  3. It’s a murder mystery. I haven’t read a decent, old-fashioned, murder mystery in a long time. They’re usually routinely bloody, filled with unsympathetic characters, and I figure them out by the third chapter or so. Not The Silence of Bones.  I was too caught up in worrying for the characters, figuring out their connections, and relishing the flow of the narrative to puzzle over the plot too much. Still, the mystery plot is solid and well-done, with just enough red herrings and straw men to keep you guessing (see this page for Trigger Warnings),
  4. It’s set around and about 19th Century Hanyang (modern-day Seoul), Korea. Not London, not New York, not Berlin, not Paris, not even Hong Kong (as much as I like those locations) are where most mysteries I’ve read seem to be set. Granted, I love history and historical dramas, and I am rather familiar with the many varieties of fabulous Joseon dynasty hats – but that is beside the point. Even if you don’t like historical novels, the plot and setting are interesting and not as common in the world of YA novels (in English – obviously we’re not talking Korean language novels here, which are generally above my skill level!). However, Korean-Canadian author June Hur strikes the balance of showing us her picture of Joseon Korea, and making it accessible to an English-speaking readership who are from many diverse backgrounds, and may have little to no knowledge of Korean history.
  5. Relationship Drama BUT no pointless “romance” (or other) filler plots. Okay, on this one, I know I’m just being a complaining, nagging, old grouch. But I have complained elsewhere (ad nauseum) about my frustration with filler plots – whether they have to do with proms, tea parties, baseball games, missing daggers, or whatever – that take the story literally nowhere. Instead, The Silence of Bones gives us relationships – between siblings, “co-workers,” leaders and followers, commanders and officers – and the intricate, often thorny and tangled way that they shape how we behave, who we cling to, and where we turn when we are at our darkest or most desperate moments. They are integral to the story, the way the murders panned out, and even how the mystery is solved. I have also written extensively about sibling-bond plots and how much I love them, so I won’t do it again. But I appreciated it, so I wanted you to know.

In summary: This book is a well-written historical mystery with a fantastic setting, complex characters, and a strong female lead that you will be rooting for (and worrying about) until the last page. 10 out of 10 would recommend.

Pre-order Now from your local Indie bookstore, or request a hold at your local library 🙂 Let me know if you read it, have plans to read it, or if you know of any other Joseon Dynasty novels I should read 🙂

Bonus: The whole time I kept thinking that Youhna’s song Winter Flower (feat. RM) fit both Seol and her story so much, so you know I had to link the beautiful (and healing) video below. Enjoy!