2022 In Review: An Update Because I’ve Been AWOL and Living Life :P

I really did intend to restart my blog last year. But I’d get as far as starting a post draft, and then forget, and then time passes, and then I’d start over, and restart the whole cycle again with no posts to show for it. However, the reasons I didn’t post in 2022 were far healthier and more compelling than the reasons I didn’t post much in 2021 or 2020. To put it simply, I was too busy taking the steering wheel instead of going with the flow.

Like that seaweed that drifts in and out on the tide and tangles in your feet (and startles the crap out of you, if you’re like me), I have a tendency to just live from day to day and go/do whatever comes my way. Too much planning gives me crippling anxiety, and I prefer to be spontaneous and live in the moment. But I’m an adult human in an adult world, and sometimes there are things I have to plan and obligations I cannot be spontaneously present or absent for. I didn’t learn how to balance this in my twenties, and now in my thirties, I feel like I am only just starting to get the hang of it. At the best of times. Which brings me back around to my blog.

I have good intentions and plans to use my blog. I’ve watched/listened to so many talks about using a blog to develop a “personal brand,” to refine your writing voice, and to keep connected with readers, friends, and families. And I nodded my head, took notes, and proceeded to wait until I had the mental energy to post. Dear reader, as you might have guessed, that ended up being a time I never found. But that was because I was doing other things.

So now, I’ve meandered my way to the point of this post, and if you’re still reading, bear with me and know that I appreciate you. I didn’t post in 2022 because I . . .

2022 HIGHLIGHT REEL

  1. Was editing and posting on Wattpad every week
  2. Was going to musicals, concerts, and festivals
  3. Was travelling and meeting people
  4. Was working A LOT
  5. Was finally starting in on the never-ending lists of books, movies, and shows I’ve missed
  6. Was volunteering and doing things that mean something to me
  7. Was writing and even finished NaNoWriMo (yay!) for the first time in about 5 years
  8. Bonus: 2022 Highlights Playlist and Some More Photos
I’ll go into each one in a little more detail below, and potentially (but no promises) in future posts. For example, under #5, I did an 80s movie watching streak, and read a lot of Brandon Sanderson, and I have many thoughts. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s be orderly and start back at number 1:
  1. Writing and Posting on Wattpad:

If you’re a new reader (I’m sorry), then you might not realize that I started this blog because writing is what I love and what I do. I had a publishing deal that fell through once (another story), and while that set me back mentally, I have never stopped writing. Writing stories has always been necessary to my mental health and living my life, but since I didn’t get some five figure publishing deal and become a breakout star as a teen, I’ve had to live the more normal road of working random and diverse jobs while writing on the side whenever I have the time and energy. I haven’t given up on publishing, but it’s had to go on the backburner for years as I burned myself out paying my way through school and survival.

Which leads me to January of last year, when I finally decided to post up some of my writing in the hopes of having some casual readers and feedback. I used to be on Wattpad as a reader back in the day, and since I was familiar with the site and the least scared of posting my stuff up there,  I ventured into the free-to-read world with The Last Coffee Shop (TLCS). TLCS was a former NaNo project of mine about a tired and stressed barista in a cheerfully post-apocalyptic world, who becomes the unlikely and reluctant heroine of an adventure she doesn’t want (Bilbo-style), and gets tangled up with a clever, dangerous, and oh-so-unreliable bounty hunter in pursuit of a dancing thief. It is wry, often sarcastic, and a little rough around the edges at times, so not for everyone*, and definitely not the mafia-werewolf-billionaire romance stories** that comprise A LOT of Wattpad’s offerings. More importantly, TLCS indulges my pointless love of footnotes.

Considering that Wattpad’s readership seemed to be anything but the types who might read and/or like my work, I only expected a few reads, and I certainly didn’t expect much in the way of interaction. So imagine my shock when a WP bookclub (I didn’t even know those existed), featured TLCS and I went from a handful of reads to about one hundred in just a few months. Those numbers may not sound big, and they aren’t really, but when you consider what I expected and the fact that I wasn’t writing along a trend, you can see why I was so surprised. I was even more surprised when the reactions were overwhelmingly kind, positive, or at least helpful. The bookclub belonged to a WP/Discord group called Dreamland Community (100% recommend), and I eventually joined their server and the selfsame bookclub: Dreamland Raid. Since joining the bookclub, TLCS now has over 1,000 reads, and some people might have even finished it. [Shoutout here to my sister Charlotte’s friend(s) who both finished it, and screamed at her over Discord about it. I have never met you, and I don’t even know your names, but I love you]

While I’m still not as active as I could be, I’ve been getting better, and I’ve really enjoyed reading and commenting on stories that are often far more diverse, creative, and interesting than a lot of what traditional publishing has to offer/will take a chance on. So the goal is to keep going into 2023, and do more. I’m currently posting a revised and edited version of Knight of the Blue Surcoat, a generally wholesome and very unfashionable Arthurian retelling, and seriously considering joining another bookclub and entering some contests here soon.

*Content warnings up in the description on WP                   

**mafia/werewolf/billionaire romance and fanfic seem to be the pillars of Wattpad

2. Musical$, Festival$, and Concert$

2022 will go down in my personal history as the first year I lived my music-loving dreams to the fullest and most indulgent heights. I could probably write six (or more) whole posts about the amount and variety of live music I witnessed, and maybe I will someday, but I’m going to keep this as short as possible and just give the highlights.

The most interesting festival I went to was the Busan International Rock Festival. I finally saw Nell and Jannabi (the ENERGY this man has), and Bastille again (festival Bastille is epic) and fell in love with a lot of new (to me) bands, including Glen Check and CNEMA (angelic vocals, some screamo, a trumpet, and more).

For concerts, there were two standouts: Epik High and BTS Yet to Come in Busan. I have never seen Epik High, although I’ve been a fan for years, and they were, well, epic. They are hilarious, and their chemistry and energy together is unmatched. It was the Epik High is Here tour, so they mainly did tracks from that album (part 1 was released in 2021, part 2 in 2022), but they also did some throwbacks in medley or full form (BORN HATER!). And then Younha (one of my all time favorite singers!) made an appearance and did Umbrella/우산 (one of my favorite songs!) and it was gorgeous. I rarely get emotional, but I teared up, got chills, and had the time of my life.

BTS Yet to Come in Busan was an even more impactful but very different experience. First, there’s the whole part where I managed to get a standing raffle ticket, and it was free to attend. Second, there were the people from all around the world that I hung out with, chatted with (sometimes through the aid of translation apps!) It was a once in a lifetime moment, and I enjoyed every minute of it. The sets, the fireworks, the special effects, the crowd, and of course, the guys themselves, made it one of the most special concerts I have ever had the privilege of attending. And this isn’t even getting into the emotional intensity of the moment. Since BTS (like many other artists) had to cancel a huge tour due to Covid, and they hadn’t performed for a full audience in Korea since 2019, the Busan concert was even more special.

Finally, the musicals. I probably should have had a category just for those. The first musical I saw in 2022 was Jekyll and Hyde in February. I’ve seen it before, and I enjoyed it a lot, so the main reason for going was to see my favorite musical actor: Hong Kwang-ho (I have gushed about this man’s talent and voice multiple times on this blog alone). He was amazing as usual, so no shock there. However, I then saw The Lion KingKinky BootsDeath Note (more on this in a moment), Sweeny Todd, West Side Story, and Moulin Rouge to round out the musicals that I saw for the first time last year. West Side Story was the biggest surprise, being the one I had never been interested in, but considering I saw it with the Kim Junsu as Tony and Leo (from kpop group VIXX) as Riff, and the addition of dance fighting, I enjoyed it a lot!

But Death Note . . . that was the culmination of my journey to Korea, in an ironic way. It was Hong Kwang-Ho and Kim Junsu in the roles of Light and L, respectively, that sucked me back into a renewed interest in learning Korean when I had started to give up. Specifically, it was the video below that made Hong Kwang-ho my must-see artist, and then my favorite musical star, the first time I visited Korea in 2018.

I had listened to every bad audio quality recording from the audience, and I basically had the main songs memorized before I even went. I was fortunate enough to see the musical three times while it ran, and one of those times was with both leads reprising their roles (which they originated in the Korean version), and when I say it was a peak moment of my life, I’m not joking. The singing, the staging, the acting . . . it was far better than a paragraph in a recap blog post can convey. But whatever money I spent on it . . . it was worth every bit.

I ended 2022 with Moulin Rouge, another culmination of years-long fandom. The movie is one of my favorites, for all that it’s er . . . problematic,*** but the artistry. And it isn’t an exaggeration to say that I’ve had that soundtrack on a regular rotation for over fifteen years now. Of course, I listening to the 2019 recording from the Broadway production, and I loved it too (Aaron Tveit is nearly unbeatable!). So when I found out that Hong Kwang-ho and Ivy (another very famous and incredibly talented Korean musical star) were going to star in the first Korean production, I was stalking Interpark (ticketing website) every day for release dates from the minute the news broke. And it went above and beyond my every expectations in every way. Some of the best choreo I have ever had the pleasure of watching, and don’t even get me started on the costuming. But again, this is not the point of this post, so maybe I’ll come back to MR later . . .

***Morality aside, I could write a paper on the merits of the movie, artistic and otherwise. But Hindi Sad Diamonds etc, etc.??!! 

3. Travelling and Meeting People

I’m not the most social creature (to say the least), but I do love to travel. While I only made it out of Korea to go back to visit my family in the US last year, I did manage to travel around Korea a lot more last year. I also joined Gospel City Church in Seoul, the church I’d mainly been attending online because of Covid, and I regularly attended a small group. This led to far more meetups and hanging out than I did in 2020-2021 combined. I also met a lot of friends’ mutual friends, and hung out with people from so many different countries, which was awesome!

Of course, there is always hiking, which continues to be one of my favorite things to do in Korea. But I also did far more urban hiking in 2022. I explored more corners of Seoul, and finally went to Jeju. Jeju Island is just as beautiful and lush as people said, and part of my time there was the long (8+hr) Hallasan hike, and drinking/eating my weight in fresh citrus. With striking black volcanic rocks, windblown slopes, mountainous ridges, and lush greenery everywhere, Jeju looks like the setting for a folktale. The colors of the sea and grass were incredibly vivid, and there is a wildness to the landscape that is different from mainland Korea. Now that I’ve been, I can’t wait to go back.

4.  Work, Work, Work

I’m still at the same hagwon (academy) that I started at in 2020. In 2022, I had the opportunity to teach some more high level classes, and far less kindergarten, which suited me just fine. Some stand-out experiences were talking Hunger Games with our highest level book club, teaching writing to college students, and greatly improving my listening skills by conversing with elementary school students. Our younger students talk in high speed, and have colorful repertoires of insults and game characters’ names. Listening was one of my weakest areas in Korean, and I 100% attribute my gains in this area to my enthusiastic and verbose younger students.

5. Pop Culture – All the Books, Shows, and Movies I Never Have Time For

I read so much more in 2022! Fantasy, nonfiction, Wattpad books, you name it. I also listened to a lot of audiobooks, putting all my hours on public transportation to good use. In books, some highlights were T.S. Kingfisher’s thriller/natural horror novels, Robin Hobb (finally!), The Left-Handed Booksellers of London by Garth Nix, Return of the Thief by Megan Whalen Turner, A Deadly Education (and the sequel) by Naomi Novik, Six Crimson Cranes by Elizabeth Lim,  and my favorite book of 2022: The Red Palace by June Hur. While I read far more titles, these were the ones that really made an impression.

The Red Palace is a historical mystery set in 1800 century Korea, during the turbulent time of the troubled Prince Yi Seon (이선), better known to us as Prince Sado who infamously died after being confined in a rice chest during the summer on the orders of his father. However, the Crown Prince’s tragic and violent story is the background to the mystery, and a sweet, thoughtful, slow-burn romance between an illegitimately born young nurse and a police inspector. Whether you are into history, mystery, or the romance, there is something for you, and even if one of those elements isn’t your bag, June Hur is a masterful, lyrical author who will sell you on the other parts. I highly recommend it, and if you end up reading it, let me know in the comments!

For shows and movies, I don’t ever remember those as well, but I 95% loved Wednesday, watched a great Korean historical film called The Night Owl/올빼미, enjoyed the star-studded Amsterdam, and thought Stranger Things S4 was fantastic. I also finally watched some more 80s and 90s movies (more on that eventually), rewatched old favorites like Terminator, and made far less progress on my to-watch list than on my to-read list, as per usual.

6. Volunteering

Volunteer work and helping in my community has always been something I was highly convicted to do, but was often unsure about how to go about getting involved. However, thanks to some friends and making connections at church, I was finally able to do more volunteering in 2022. In Chungju (the city I live in), I hung out with and did everything from baking to playing outdoor games with students at a shelter for older girls who haven’t been adopted. It hasn’t been easy (they are often shy, and don’t try to speak in Korean or English), but we are slowly starting to develop rapport and relationships with these brave and interesting young girls. One of my goals for 2023 is to be able to do more than in 2022!

7. Writing and NaNo

Last but not least, other than the writing alluded to in #1, I have been writing far more than in the past few years. School burned me out badly, and bouts with self-doubt and depression haven’t helped at all. But thanks in part to my Wattpad bookclub, readers like my sister and her friends, and the generally better place. Just having a writing community that is accessible to me, albeit online, has made a huge difference in my motivation. I wrote over 100K words last year, and I hope to write even more in 2023.

As for NaNo (National Novel Writing Month), I wrote over the 50K words in a month goal, and made progress on a novel project I’ve been tossing around for a while. I also worked on some other projects, and got some editing done. I’m not sure what’s the next step for my writing in 2023, especially since I don’t have a lot of free time, but I am feeling a little more optimistic about where I’m at right now than at the same time last year. Self-publishing is a route I’ve definitely been considering, and looking into that route with more serious intentions is one of the main things on my 2023 agenda.

Well, that was a long post, and thank you to anyone reading this far! As always, comment, let me know what you did in 2022, let me know if you want to hear about anything in detail, or just say hello 🙂

Happy 2023, and raise an imaginary glass to hoping we all are healthier and accomplish even more this year!

(And Don’t forget to check out the playlist and Photos Below;P)

2020 Reflections and Gratitude

“But that’s only part of the reason I have been inactive. The other part is sincere creative and emotional burnout that has been haunting me ever since I went back to school. I always vowed that college wouldn’t do that to me, it wouldn’t ruin reading and writing and learning for me the way it did for many of my friends. I was partly right – it didn’t ruin anything – but between working a physically/emotionally demanding restaurant job and going to school full-time, I spent 3.5 years yo-yoing between manic-must-succeed drive to finish and do everything 200%, and the sort of apathy that allows days to turn into forgotten years and only scattered moments of “awareness” in between.
So do I regret going back to school?
No.”

WARNING: Long post, mini essay, and TMI/sincerity ahead

As usual, I disappeared off the face of the internet for a while ;). I’ve just had to make peace with this fact about my nature – I come and go and disappear, and so I could never achieve the sort of readership or following like other bloggers or authors do – but writing is part of my identity and continues to be my “true love.” But more on that in a minute.

My disappearance aside, if you have read any of my more “recent” entries (i.e., July), then you know I am back in Korea and teaching English at a hagwon. I have been ridiculously busy – adapting to my new routine and job – and exploring my new home. But that’s only part of the reason I have been inactive. The other part is sincere creative and emotional burnout that has been haunting me ever since I went back to school. I always vowed that college wouldn’t do that to me, it wouldn’t ruin reading and writing and learning for me the way it did for many of my friends. I was partly right – it didn’t ruin anything – but between working a physically/emotionally demanding restaurant job and going to school full-time, I spent 3.5 years yo-yoing between manic-must-succeed drive to finish and do everything 200%, and the sort of apathy that allows days to turn into forgotten years and only scattered moments of “awareness” in between.

So do I regret going back to school?

No.

But do I wonder what I might have done with those 3.5 years? Of course.

Part of all this time I’ve had for reflection in 2020 has been spent thinking about what might have been; not just in the last three years, but for most of my conscious adult life.  And like many people this year, I have had far more time alone with my thoughts in a space where I have to confront myself like never before (Covid social distancing from March, empty days at the restaurant, quarantine in Korea, and my weekly hikes and wanderings for hours ever since).

Now, this isn’t exactly a bad thing – meaning my wondering what might have been – because it can cause me to reflect on choices I have made and appreciate how I ended up where I am. But of course, for someone with a solitary, melancholy, and reflective nature like myself, so much empty time can also spiral into a darker place. Finishing school and being forced to stay home from work suddenly gave me hours of time to myself, and I didn’t know what to do with it. I’m sure that everyone can relate to this. 2020 gave us back time and tore it apart at the same time. I am writing this post at the tail end of November, but my brain can’t decide if I finished school 5 years ago, or just a few weeks ago (it was in December of 2019, fyi). Days that last for weeks, and months that are gone before you can change the daily page on a calender – that is how time worked this year.

And now I’m rambling. But to summarize what I think I was trying to say, 2020 has been unforgettable and unignorable. There’s nothing like a worldwide pandemic to make you reevaluate everything, you know?

When I look back at my last ten years, I have trouble seeing the accomplishments through what I have perceived as failures. When I imagined myself entering my thirties (something I hardly thought about as a teenager), I always assumed I’d live somewhere isolated but cool – a mysterious but successful writer (kind of exactly like antisocial children’s book author Go Mun-young in Netflix drama It’s Okay to Not Be Okay*). I’d be able to travel the world, I’d have several published books, I’d go to writer conventions or maybe ComicCon, and people would know my name (or that of my persona – I always intended to write under an assumed name). That was my teenage dream. And to be honest, that dream still resonates with me and makes me want more. But I am also an adult. Part of me thinks I didn’t become an adult until now. Part of me still doesn’t even know what being an adult means.

My instagram feed is full of friends getting married, having children, even getting pets or advanced degrees. I am not jealous, in fact, I am happy for them. But part of me still feels left behind in a world of childhood fantasies and barely-realized dreams. I have always wanted different things. I have always wanted things that I find trouble verbalizing. That is why writing was like breathing for me – necessary for life and something I didn’t think about – because it allowed me to take feelings and express them with confidence. I say “was” because things changed in university. If writing was breathing, then I was living on a respirator. I used every forced “breath” to succed academically, to help me get good grades when I was so tired every day that only coffee and energy drinks kept me physically moving.

So back to the question – do I regret it?

I thought I did many times along the way, but that was a narrow view of things due to the depression of the moment. There were friends I made, fun I had, and irreplaceable experiences that made it worth the misery and apathy. Would I have made some different choices? Of course. But regret is reflection’s partner and part of being human. Regret can help you do better next time. I don’t regret going back to school, and I am incredibly grateful for the things I learned and the people I met. But I am glad to be awake again.

Despite my busy new job, being back in Korea for the past few months has been a period of rest and healing for me – artistically, emotionally, and mentally – and a time for me to try to find a new dream. I haven’t found that dream yet, but I’m not depressed about that any more. If 2020 has taught me anything, it’s that I have spent too many years worrying about how to achieve “something” and been blinded to any actual accomplishments. Ambition is a double-edged sword.

So back to writing. I haven’t been writing, but I have been drawing, painting, knitting, and creating art in other ways that have always been an extension of writing for me. To be myself is to be artistic, and I feel like it is starting to come back over the past few months. I still have trouble sitting at a laptop for hours, and I find the fragments of stories in my head are still difficult to complete and refine into something coherent on a page. But they are there.

I think I am almost ready to lose the “respirator.”

This has been a bunch of rambling, and if you read this far, thank you for sticking it out with me. And to end this post, I’ll give you a list of 10 “small” big things that I am grateful for, in the spirit of reflection and Thanksgiving.

  1. My workout routine with my sister Charlotte

Thanks to Google Hangouts and wifi, I have been able to workout with my teenage sister back in the States almost every day since I came to Korea. Not only is the working out good for my body and mind, it makes me feel like we are closer together. Through Charlotte, I am able to stay in touch with my family in much the same way I did while living apart from them back in the US. And of course, having a workout buddy is invaluable to a routine and something that can literally get you going when nothing else works. So Charlotte, I love you and am so grateful to you for your discipline, perserverence, and motivation.

2. My “new” housemates and coworkers

Moving to a new city or state is always a bit challenging – and moving to a new country could be even more so. The people around you make a huge difference. I am so grateful to my housemates and co-workers for making me feel welcome and including me from the start in activities, adventures, or even just inviting me to hang out. Whether it’s being willing to walk home with me when they’d maybe rather take a taxi, or spending long hours into the night watching cooking shows, or even just sharing snacks at work, I am incredibly grateful to and for them, and I hope they know that they have been a blessing to me this year.

3. Korea’s plentiful hiking trails

Anyone who follows me on Instragram knows that most of my free time has been spent exploring the mountains and trails near my new home. From manicured and filled with (so many) stairs, or rough and mildly dangerous, Korea has hundreds of trails throughout the plentiful mountains. So far, each week has been breathtaking and my phone has way too many photos in its gallery. Hiking is not only a physical challenge, but its a mental challenge. Hours in your own headspace while you walk, scramble, or climb until your legs and lungs ache is kind of like meditating for someone who has trouble sitting still. A lot of my time out there has been spent in prayer and reflection, and I am always incredibly grateful for the beauty and healing gift of nature when I go outside.

4. Art supply stores

Art and stationary stores are everywhere in Korea, and Chungju is no exception. From adorable erasers shaped like ice cream or textbooks, to canvases and multitudes of cheap fabric pens, these stores are dangerous places for someone like me. Specifically, they are dangerous to my salary. It’s too easy to fill a basket with reasonably priced random things and find yourself forking out more money than you otherwise would think of spending. All that aside, thanks to these stores and their plentiful goods, I have spent many more hours painting, drawing, and doing lyric art than I have in a long time, and it has felt really good.

5. Street food

If you have followed my blog or know me in real life, you probably know how much I love street and snack food. While it isn’t as plentiful in Chungju as in some places I have been in Korea, it’s still here. And of course, there are the usual little kimbap (김밥) and tteokboki (떡볶이) places when you can’t find a food stall. But nothing beats the taste of fresh, blazing hot hotteok (호떡) or spicy chicken feet (닭발) when you’ve been hiking all day and the nights are cold. I am always grateful for good food, but I think if I ever truly picked a favorite food, this would be it.

6. Gospel City Church’s livestream (Seoul)

It’s so strange to me that I haven’t been to an in-person church service since March. It’s alarming, in fact, and my week feels incomplete without that gathering together. Another fact many people may know from my blog is that I am a Christian, and that my faith is very important to me. And of course, there is a huge importance to church and fellowship among believers in the Bible, and this is something I grew up valuing and believing. So I am eagerly looking forward to the day when I can worship together (bodily) with other believers. However, due to Covid, travel difficulties, and my still not-fluent Korean skills, I haven’t been to a church here in Korea yet. I have faithfully attended online services from several different churches every Sunday since I got here. So far, the one that has been the most nourishing and instructive for me has been Gospel City Church in Seoul. One of my goals is to attend in person, but until I am able, I have and continue to be grateful for their gospel-centered preaching every Sunday via Youtube stream.

7. BTS and ARMY (ESSAY WARNING)

Before you laugh at me, or skip over this mini essay, I want you to know that BTS (7 normal but outrageously talented young Korean men) and their fanbase ARMY (i.e., me and millions of others) have put out music and content that has been healing and comforting to millions of us. I am truly grateful for them and to live in the same time. I don’t think anything is truly random, in that I believe everything comes into your life for a reason or a purpose that only God knows. If you want to hear a “professional” take on BTS and their appeal, I recommend you ignore the noise, listen to their music, read their lyric translations, and read this excellent Esquire article by Dave HolmesThe Boundless Optimism of BTS. A lot has been said about BTS – their looks (they’re all absurdly handsome), philanthropy ($1 million to Black Lives Matter, matched by $1 million from global ARMY), and the way they are inspiring Asian or non-English speaking artists by achieving the same popularity and success worldwide that Western/English-speaking acts have – but while all of this is true, it is only one tiny part of why I personally love them and why they resonate with me so deeply. I first discovered their music in 2016, but wasn’t 100% ARMY-for-life convinced fan until I went to their concert in 2017. In 2020, BTS released the show BTS in the Soop on their platform Weverse – basically an hour an half each week of watching them be normal guys in a mountain retreat, building gliders, having conversations, and cooking. It was incredibly comforting to watch. This was added to dozens of livestreams and other video and social content to show that they were also confused and struggling with quarantine life, and from being separated from what they love: concerts and performing. They expressed what I and so many other people have felt this year. More importantly, they released two amazing albums: Map of the Soul:7,  in February, and more recently Be, in November (along with the single Dynamite – which smashed all kinds of records in August). Map of the Soul: 7 is a 20 track extravaganza that varies in tone, sound, and style – from emo to hip-hop to r & b and ballad. I love every song from this album, and I couldn’t pick a favorite if I tried, but for sheer artistry, title tracks Black Swan and On (and their incredible epic videos) are daily listening for me. Likewise, We are Bulletproof: the Eternal makes me emotional, Friends might be the cutest song about friendship ever, UGH! is fire, and I could go on about every track. I have been listening to the album on repeat since February. I think this album is, artistically, on a different level from basically anything out there, and it really didn’t get the attention it deserved.

BE, on the other hand, is like a letter from a childhood friend that you remember fondly but haven’t seen in a while. It reminded me just how much I love more gentle, introspective songs with deep, poetic lyrics. The title track, Life Goes On is about 2020, quarantine, loss, the pandemic, and beautifully expresses both the band’s and the listener’s bittersweet emotions and reflections on the year. Lines describing the time as desperately trying to outrace the rain and realizing you’re only human and it hurts (오늘도 비가 내릴 것 같아/ 흠뻑 젖어버렸네/ 아직도 멈추질 않아/ 저 먹구름보다 빨리 달려가/ 그럼 될 줄 알았는데/ 나 겨우 사람인가 봐/ 몹시 아프네 . . . etc), that are far more beautiful in Korean (lol) as well as the cautious hopefulness of the song make Life Goes On one of my favorite songs in a long time, and something I’ll continue to return to. There are only 6 new tracks on the album (one is a Skit, a spoken word track, and the other is the English-language single Dynamite), but each one is a thoughtful inclusion. Another stand out is Blue & Grey which was inspired by creative burnout and melancholy, and compares those emotions to the colors/shades of blue and grey. This song perfectly expressed my own feelings that I shared in this post. It’s always nice to feel seen 😉 Anyhow, this album was definitely not a strategic move (none of the tracks resemble Dynamite or any current trends in pop music), but a move of love of making music for themselves and ARMY, and it’s a treasure that I am so grateful for.

8. YouTube and Spotify

Whether it’s church livestreams or a new song I need to hear on a loop, I am grateful that these streaming platforms exist and that I can afford to use them. Despite their flaws, they are the path to the comfort that I find in music. 2020 was not a garbage year for music (see #7) or videos, and I found a lot to love via these platforms. Of course, there is BTS (again, see #7) who have destroyed 2020 competition with two (!) incredible albums and loads of content, but I have also enjoyed new music and videos from Evanescence, Within Temptation, DAY6, H.E.R., Jacob Banks, Reik, MAX, Nlve, AILEE, Epica, suggi, Bohnes, Gaho, HEIZE, Dreamcatcher, AKMU, Eric Nam, MAMAMOO, 10cm, Younha, Lauv, Tomorrow+Together, Zion.T, and many, many more. If you’re interested, you can find a lot of these artists on my Listening Right Now playlist on Spotify^^. Even if none of these artists realize it, I (and many other people) are so grateful to them for continuing to put out diverse and beautiful content through such a rough year. It means a lot.<3

9. Kakao Maps

This is probably the most obviously insignificant thing on this list, but I am very grateful for it! Google Maps is hardly reliable in Korea, but Kakao Maps is stellar even up in the mountains. I rarely lose my way (especially in the mountains – they aren’t confusing like a city!), but Kakao maps is so reliable when I’m unsure about where I am at! When you put in a route, you can choose options like walking or public transportation, and the routes have always proven to be good. If you ever come to Korea, I wouldn’t recommend anything else. Kakao really is your friend here.

10. Korean speaking practice!

Finally, but certainly not least, is my gratitude for the ability to practice Korean and lose some of my nervousness. Teaching children with varying degrees of English understanding has really stretched me to use and improve my Korean – just so I can help the kids understand English better! This is natural, but my Korean co-teachers have also been nothing but willing to help me out when I have questions. Additionally, most people are pretty patient with my Korean, and that has helped my confidence and ability to fail and keep going. So my speaking has definitely improved, and my vocabulary is steadily growing. I’m not where I want to be yet, but I can see and acknowledge distinct and rapid improvement since I arrived in June/July. More importantly, my deep interest in and love for the Korean language has only continued to grow, and so I’m so grateful to everyone who has supported me in this goal. 자신감을 가질 수 있도록 도와주셔서 감사드립니다 <3

Obviously, I am grateful to be healthy and have a healthy family, and to have a job and a place to sleep at night. None of those things are taken for granted. Anyhow, I’m sorry if this post was a bit of a slog or a downer. I feel lighter getting it off my chest – and if you read to the end, what are some things you have been grateful for in 2020? Have you found that quarantine life made any changes or brought about any epiphanies? Did you discover a talent or hobby or something new to love? Let me know in the comments, and I hope to “see” you again here soon!

<3 Beck

*I couldn’t really fit this into the post, tonally, but It’s Okay to Not Be Okay/사이코지만 괜찮아 (literally “Psycho but it’s Okay) is SO GOOD. I’m on episode 12, but everything about the drama hits me hard – from the themes to the illustrations! It reminds me of many of the things I have written (though it is cuter and more heartwarming – but with very dark elements), and I love the way it looks at autism, anti-social behavior, mental disorders, and how relationships look when any of those things are involved. I also love how it is a quirky, gothic-romance and fairy-tale inspired, and I love the main actors so much (especially leads Seo Yeji, Kim SooHyun, and Oh Jungse – all favorites of mine!). If you are looking for something different from the usual to watch, I highly recommend giving this show a try.

She just says what we’re all thinking
This sequence literally makes me so happy because I love it

The Quarantine Diaries Continued

Okay, as promised, I’m continuing where I left off last post – with a delivered breakfast and the Covid test  – so here’s the link to the first post if you missed it.

Wednesday, July 1 continued

Thankfully, I had remembered to set an alarm, so I was up and ready for the knock at the door that meant breakfast. Breakfast consisted of doenjang jjigae (된장찌개 – stew made with fermented soybean paste, and one of the ultimate comfort foods), rice, a fish filet, and assorted banchan (반찬 – side dishes) that included kimchi, mushrooms, and eggplant, among others. I was surprised and grateful to go from plane “food” to feasting like a king, and I devoured everything. I suppose I should have taken pictures, but I was too hungry to think of it till later! I guess I also should have taken pictures of the room and the outside (which I could finally see), but I forgot ;). For anyone curious, outside confirmed that we were in a lodge in a mountainous area that was gorgeous and sadly, off-limits (for now!).

As promised, there was another knock at the door around 8:40, and we (myself and three others) were told to come down. We boarded another van, and drove into downtown Chungju. I could finally see the familiar landscape of rolling foothills, mixed broadleaf deciduous trees, and combination of apartment buildings with more traditional houses and structures interspersed. Seeing that I was *actually* in Korea and not in a space station, a tunnel, or the world between worlds was more of a relief than you’d think, and I felt much greater peace with my situation than I had in the past 48 hours. I think the drive into town was about 20 minutes, but I’m not certain because I was too busy looking at the scenery.

The Covid test itself wasn’t a big deal. I listened to a girl explain the app instructions again (in Korean), and then confirmed my info with her, and then was directed to sit inside what looked like a giant storage bin that had been converted into a tiny, efficient, testing clinic. A person in full PPE took a glorified (reallllly long) cotton swab and put one down my throat, and then another one up my nose (and if felt like into my brain!), labeled the samples, and then I was put back on the bus with the others and taken back to await the results. I think the whole process (minus the drive), took about 10 minutes total for all four of us.

Back at the lodge, we were told that lunch was at 12, dinner was at 5, and that

Travel Coffee Kit: Manual grinder, beans, and Vietnamese coffee press

we would be expected to leave as soon as we received our results if they were negative. So I called a few people, made myself coffee, and worked out in the meantime. Though I knew I would have to quarantine for 13 more days, it was such a relief to be settled for even a few hours!

My lunch dosirak (도시락 – packed meal) also had rice and soup, assorted banchan (반찬), and stir-fried pork (돼지고기볶음), which was all as delicious as the breakfast had been. So far, quarantine eating was a solid 10 for 10 in my opinion, but I still wasn’t sure what to expect for the rest of the time. While people from the school were still keeping in touch with me (which I was grateful for), everything that happened was still a bit of a surprise.

I confess that I slept most of the time after lunch, only to be awakened by a healthcare worker who told me to be ready at 6:30 to go to my next stop because my test was (thankfully) negative. While this wasn’t a surprise, I was still relieved that my good health wasn’t just an illusion! However, I was surprised at the speed with which they received the results: to be tested around 9 am and have the results back before 5 pm was ridiculously fast.  So now I just had to be ready to go by 6:30. Achievement unlocked: pre-quarantine accomplished.

At this point, my “next stop” (or final quarantine destination) had been changed enough that I really had no clue where it would be, but I just nodded and thanked her anyway. As I mentioned in my previous post, there was really nothing for me to do here but just comply and trust! So I made some more coffee, messaged some friends, and played some games on my phone, and then repacked all my stuff so that it would be ready to go. By this time, it was already 5 pm, and time for dinner (already!). Surprisingly, considering I hadn’t done much of a workout, I was hungry anyway, and interested to see what dinner would be. My final meal was a veggie pancake (야채전), more sides, rice, and kimchi jjigae (김치찌개 – kimchi stew – and one of my favorite things in the world, if you don’t know already). The jjigae wasn’t spicy at all, which was a little sad, but I’m not going to complain about free food! I’ve just been spoiled by my boss at the restaurant back in Michigan making it for me with her homemade kimchi, and making it extra spicy. Her kimchi jjigae is my standard. And even if kimchi jjigae is one of the most basic, simple Korean dishes there is – the kimchi really makes a difference – as does the spice level. In my (obviously biased) opinion, the kimchi should be sour (신김치), homemade, and everything should be extra spicy – so the rice and the tofu really stand out. But I digress . . .

Anyhow, before I’d really adjusted to the space, I was loaded onto (another) bus along with two of the other people I’d seen when we went to be tested, and the kind driver from the local government then dropped us all off, with myself being last. I was dropped in front of a T-world (SK Telecom store) that didn’t look particularly promising, and since I still wasn’t sure what I was even looking for, I decided to finally call my new boss and ask him directly. Imagine surprise when the phone was answered by someone about 20 feet behind me!

I met Mr. Greg (my boss), and his wife (distantly, of course! Since I was under quarantine rules and supposed to limit all contact to as little as was humanly possible). They escorted me and my luggage up three floors in what turned out to be my new living space for the next year. I was surprised, as the last I had heard, I was going to an empty apartment. Being in my own living space had several pros and cons. Pros: the other teachers living there could get me food so I knew I wouldn’t starve, I could clean my room and settle in, everyone from the school knew where to find me, and the crucial internet access. Cons: other people live there, so I couldn’t really leave my room, I could get bored of my own living space really quickly, and increased risk of vegetating instead of getting stuff done!

Once I was set up in my room, had the air conditioner going, and was settled, the first thing I asked my new coworkers for was cleaning supplies. The room was more spacious than I had expected, but the former inhabitant had left it rather messy. This was fine, as scouring the bathroom, the baseboards, and all the furniture gave me something to do that night and the next day.

Thursday, July 2

Cleaning and setting up my room took most of my time for the second morning. The previous girl left a nice table and bookshelf, but she had gotten candle wax all over everything. Everything. However, a spoon I found in the room was the perfect tool for scraping up wax!

In between cleaning, some of the other teachers introduced themselves to me via my door and Facebook messenger, which was weird for everyone I think, but really kind of them. While it was strange to talk through the door, it was good to hear voices and know there were other people around. Even better, they brought me ramen, kimbap, snacks, and coffee (which they really didn’t have to do, but of course I appreciated it a bunch!). They also let me borrow some dishes and an electric kettle so I could continue to make coffee (I probably would go crazy for two weeks spent in isolation without coffee). Now that I had food and WiFi, and a clean room, it was much easier to figure out how to spend the rest of my two weeks without going crazy.

Continuing the list of surprises, at 3:20 PM (15:20 KST), I received a text from my boss saying that a government person was there to see me. Since the other teachers had left for the day, I could go downstairs, so I quickly put on a mask and gloves (so I wouldn’t touch any surfaces directly), and went down to meet the government lady. She basically just waved to me, and indicated a box and bag that she had set beside the steps. I thanked her and said goodbye, and then took the things she left back up to my room after she left. The bag had biohazard trash bags (for real), a bunch of masks, a huge bottle of hand sanitizer, and a disinfectant spray (right up my alley, lol). The box was the real shock, as it contained a generous amount of shelf-stable food! Say what you want about strict quarantine measures, but I can say with 100% honesty that I have been taken care of and treated with patience and kindness for every step of the way. Even if I was being stuck in a box for a couple weeks, I haven’t felt neglected at all!

My new coworkers also left another box in my room, which I haven’t mentioned yet. This box contained the Samsung X BTS collaborative earbuds that I had ordered before left the States. I had them shipped to the school address in hopes that 1. They would arrive, and 2. Someone at the school wouldn’t mind grabbing them for me (I mean, they weren’t cheap, so I wanted to make sure that someone put them in a safe place until I could get them). I had purchased a refurbished Galaxy 9S+ before leaving, as my old iPhone was anything but reliable, and the earbuds were the one spending self-indulgence I allowed myself for a period where I would be stuck in place and not making any money.

Of course, since the earbuds said what they were right on the box, I also outed myself as a literal card-carrying ARMY (SK band BTS/방탄소년단 official fan, if you didn’t already know that). Considering I am pretty obvious about it anyhow (lol), this and my love of hiking and reading might be the only things anybody who hasn’t met me knows about me for sure. So the other teachers are now no exception.

We interrupt this post for a mini review of the Samsung Galaxy Buds+:

But back to the actual earbuds. In addition to being the most vivid shade of royal purple imaginable (if you don’t know the connection between BTS and purple, google the phrase “I Purple You”), the earbuds fit perfectly (unusual for me), and had several removable tips/heads to ensure the most perfect and comfortable fit. I tested all the advertised functions – ambient sound filters, tapping commands for skipping songs/pausing music/ending calls, etc- and found them all to work as advertised. The sound quality was fantastic, comparable to having a Bose for your ears. The mic was also surprisingly strong for something all the way up in my ear, which was cool. Most importantly, they stayed in during my workout, and as long as I paused the touchpad function, they didn’t pause my video. As for battery life, it appears to be pretty long. The website advertises 11 hours of play time (for the Galaxy Buds+), and an additional 11 from the case, which doubles as a portable charger. I think I used them for about 4 hours on and off for phone conversations, workout videos, and then music, and the charge went down by less than a third, so I’m sure it depends on exactly what you’re doing (like most Bluetooth headphones). However, my Galaxy’s battery does drain pretty fast with the Bluetooth on, but with the custom battery usage feature, I am able to manage that okay. I just need another portable charger! And speaking of chargers, since I pre-ordered the earbuds, I received a beautiful purple wireless charger that works with the earbuds and my phone, which was an awesome bonus. Also as advertised, the earbuds pair automatically with my phone when I take them out of the case, and they start back up on whatever I was listening to previously as soon as I tap them.

As for the aesthetics, this was the real selling point of the special BTS edition: all the purple! Since I have a Galaxy, I also got a free theme for my phone, two sets of photo cards (if you don’t get this, ask me later) and a cute little animation of chibi BTS that plays when I open the case and the earbuds reconnect. Everything was packaged neatly in layering black boxes decorated with stars and hearts to emphasize the “galactic” theme. I love fun packaging, but I’ll just put pictures instead of continuing to gush over it. The case is also metallic royal purple, as is the sturdy outer smart case/protector, which has the BTS logo on it and says “I purple you” on the inside. So overall, 5 out of 5 stars – would highly recommend regardless of if you care about BTS or not (and hey, they have other colors).

*Check out the end of this post for a few videos of the earbuds

Friday, July 3 – The Real Beginning of My Bertha Life

So, back to quarantine. By the afternoon of Friday, I was really starting to feel isolated and bored. While I was able to do a longer workout, I really wanted to go outside. I waited until everyone had left the building, geared up (mask and gloves), and went up on the roof. This was a MUCH BETTER view, and just being outside lifted my spirits, even if it was hot. I still felt personally taunted by the mountains, but it was better being up high. This venture outside was the first of many escapades while I had the building to myself. Still, wandering around while everyone is gone makes me feel a little like the daytime version of Bertha Mason/Rochester (Mr. Rochester’s secret, crazy wife that he hides in his attic in Jane Eyre). When I’m more productive, I feel more like Rapunzel. Time will tell which one becomes more accurate though (hopefully the latter!) In the meantime, I just have to make sure that I set good habits for myself, since two weeks is enough time to set habits, after all.

This post is already super long, so I’ll sign off for now. But stay tuned for part 3 of my Quarantine Diaries! Let me know in the comments if you have anything I should watch, read, do, etc., or if you have any questions. I have . . . nothing but time . . .

Coming Next Post:
  • What I’m Reading: Scythe by Neal Shusterman,No Greater Love by Mother Teresa, and Kingdom of Souls by Rena Barron (and a bunch of kid’s phonics books)
  • What I’m Watching: The Arthdal Chronicles (Netflix) and My Country (Netflix)
  • What I’m Listening To: New Evanescence!, Bohnes, STAY GOLD, Hwasa, Agust D, The Hamilton Mixtape, and more.

Until next time <3

5 Ways I am Using My Time While Social Distancing

5 Ways I’m Keeping Busy Right Now

Social Distancing has been trending for a month on social media, and has caused everything from moderate panic to job loss to downright insanity (has anyone figured out why everyone thought massive amounts of toilet paper should be hoarded??)

Covid-19 isn’t dysentery, folks. But all that goes to say, we are living in strange times. I know a lot of people are quite reasonably afraid – whether of getting sick, or their relatives getting sick, or the ramifications of losing their job for weeks or indefinitely, etc., etc – and this is the same all over the world. I myself will be without income until who knows when, and the outbreaks might stop me from getting the job I really wanted (teaching English in Korea!) for some time yet, as I mentioned in my previous blog post. I can’t wait tables from home, and I’m looking into teaching ESL on line. So I am also uncertain. However, I do have one advantage in this situation: I’m an introvert.

Image result for introverts unite separately meme
Sourced from https://louderminds.com/introverts-unite-separately/

Since my brain has been over-stimulated by social interaction for the past 6 months and counting (10-13 hr shifts waiting tables combined with school), I have found that my creative energy is low most days – until the last four days where I have been mostly in my house with just my sister for company. My brain reawakened, and now I have 1000+ projects all wanting my attention. I suspect many introverts currently feel the same. But how about my extroverts out there? Make sure you facetime people, text your friends, and let people know if you are having a hard time being alone!!

SO, how am I using my time? Anyone who has ever read my blog knows that I like lists, so here are my top 5 recommendations for how to use your time in relative isolation:

Be (stay!) Active

Whether it is walking around the block twice a day, or doing morning yoga, or even doing a virtual fitness class , you will feel better if you are active. Doctors back this up, therapists back this up, and I myself have found, personally, that keeping up with my fitness routine does wonders for my mental health. And hey – what if you could come out of this time looking AND feeling better? YouTube is my go-to for workout routines and inspiration, and I usually switch up my daily routine between cardio, strength-building, and calisthenics.

So for the “virtual fitness class,” I’ve been facetiming my younger sister (who still lives with my parents but frequently works out with me), and setting up a YouTube playlist that we both access from our respective TVs, and then we do the routines together but separately in real time. It’s more fun, and keeps us both motivated. If you have offline friends who are also missing weekly Zumba, yoga, or gym meetup, etc., then you should definitely consider doing this so you can still work out “together.”

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-x0Xl4bh4rGZ5sxFcGx7ceVH6-M4bd7y
A Link to My Current Workout Playlist – I usually workout for 45 minutes to 65 minutes a day with Sunday as a rest day, and alternate yoga days with cardio + yoga

My favorite and most used YouTube Fitness channels are Blogilates (pictured above), Yoga With Adriene, Leilah Isaac (Bellydance/Dance Fitness), Kpop Fitness (Puts fitness videos to kpop), Cardio Party Mashup (Cardio set to music), Emi Wong (General routines), Mark Kramer Pastrana (Dance Fitness/Zumba), and Chris Heria (Calisthenics and strength-building). Let me know if you have any recs in the comments! (Or if you try any of these out)

Get Creative – Pull out those projects

Working on something I love is not only therapeutic, I love to see things accomplished. Even if you aren’t “creative,” now is the time to work on a project that interests you. Organizing the garage? Building a shelf? Coloring a page in that adult coloring book you received as a gift three birthdays ago? Especially if you have kids, getting out some paper and colored pencils or watercolors is a great way to flex your creative muscles. Use some plain white cardstock and draw pictures or decorate your letters to make cards to send to friends and family also self-isolating. Bloggers and pinterest boards have literally thousands of ideas for all skill levels and attention spans.You might discover a new passion or hobby – who knows?

I love words and typography art, and I used to draw all the time. I combined that with my love of textile and clothing design, and I have been using a plain pair of cream-colored jeans as a canvas for the type of collage/word-art stuff I used to do in high-school. Not only is it fun, it’s nostalgic and something I haven’t had much time for in the past few years. I put on my crafting playlist (see the end of this post), and just start where I feel like it.

Lyrics/Quotes Credits: Icarus by Bastille (from “Bad Blood”) , Interlude: Shadow by BTS (From Map of the Soul: 7) – Icarus drawing by me

So maybe this feels too overwhelming? There is a ton of art and literature already out there for us to enjoy, which brings me to my third way of spending time:

Read, read, read

Scribd.com just made their library of ebooks and audiobooks free for thirty days if you sign up at the website (I just did!). Even if you don’t want to sit down and read, consider listening to an audiobook while you’re cleaning or coloring or doing dishes.

Of course, with libraries shut down, it might be harder to find physical books you want to read – but I guarantee you or someone you know has books sitting around waiting to be read “someday.” Just pick one up and start reading. Many libraries also have ebook libraries that members can access, so check out your local libraries’ websites. And hey – ebooks are cheaper than regular books, so why not purchase a book or two if you have a little money you can spend? My go-to is fantasy, as that is the genre I tend to find the most books I enjoy in.

If you like fantasy, fairytale retellings, or paranormal – check out W.R. Gingell’s collection of varied and fun ebooks here. Her ebook titles are under $5 and she is a talented author that will appeal to fans of Jessica Day George, Diana Wynne Jones, and Gail Carson Levine. Alternatively – you should read Wicked Fox by Kat Cho – it’s like a Korean drama YA style that vividly modernizes the Gumiho (tailed-fox) set in Seoul, with a lot of heart and angst and adventure. It also made me hungry (the descriptions of Korean food, lol).

Not a fan of the romance and “happy” endings? R.F Kuang‘s The Poppy War and The Dragon Republic are epic dark fantasy – fantastically written and imagined. But be advised that they contain graphic violence, adult themes and language, and characters that will 100% make you frustrated.

Alternatively, if you want to read but have trouble sitting still and focusing (like me), try Webtoons or comics. I love Webtoons (a little too much – I am subscribed to 30+ series and have stayed up till 2am reading them too many times). It’s a great time to find independent artists, authors, and illustrators to support with your time and/or money. Webtoons.com is available in many languages, and is accessible from any computer, phone, or tablet. Some series I love include Save Me (Drama), Rot & Ruin – The Webtoon (an adaptation of Jonathan Mayberry’s YA series that I LOVE*), Eleceed (Superhero-type individuals and CATS), and Not Even Bones (another YA adaptation that makes me want to read the book 100% more not). There is something for everyone.

Write. Or Start Writing

Whether it is a letter to a friend, a journal of your thoughts and emotions, or that novel you have been sitting on, there has never been a better time to write. I am setting aside time every day to either blog or work on one of my novels-in-progress/editing. Getting words on paper does wonders for my mental health, and I have many friends who also feel that putting a pen to paper (or typing) helps them think better. So if you’re feeling things because of everything going on – write about it, even if it’s just for you to read back on in ten years. If you have a cool hobby, now is a good time to write or blog about it for people who are bored and need something to read (see above).

If you are already a writer (like yours truly), now is a good time to edit, edit, edit! Considering a professional editor, or querying agents, or even looking into self-publishing are things that can all be done in times of social isolation. I am currently looking into self-publishing (so much work, yikes!), and juggling WIPs, so I have a lot of things to do for the next few weeks. I’m grateful for the time to devote to something I love, and I’m trying to think about that instead of what the loss of income means for me.

And you know what – sometimes it is too much to create, or read, or write, or even clean. In those times, video games and streaming services are there. But why not make a party of it – leading to my final way of spending social isolation:

Netflix Party! (Or Disney +, Hulu, Vudu, etc.)

Want to watch a show or movie with friends, but you can’t go sit with them irl? Well, there is a Chrome extension called Netflix party that will let you watch and comment in real time with your friends if they are also using it. Alternatively, watch the same show and use Facebook Messenger chats, WhatsApp, Kakao Talk, Google Hangouts, or any similar method to discuss the show/movie with your friends while watching. You can do this with books too – and have a virtual bookclub. And if you are the person who keeps a running commentary during a movie (this annoys a lot of people, I know), then here is a quiet way of doing just that – but quietly. And no one in your own house will (probably) get mad at you for having your phone screen on while watching. Make it more fun by cooking snacks and sharing photos in the chat. I could write a whole other post on recommendations, but I’ll just my current top 3, and please let me know if you have watched them, or if you have any recommendations!

  • If you like The Walking Dead, Grimm, Supernatural, Return of the King, Train to Busan, Game of Thrones, Underworld, or A Quiet Place, watch Kingdom (Netflix). Kingdom is a historical thriller set in Joseon Dynasty Korea involving both political intrigue and zombies. I could write a post about why it is one of the best shows ever (and maybe I will), but if you like any/all of the above titles, and want to see phenomenal cinematography, costumes, special effects, and writing along with your usual zombie horror, then Kingdom is what you’ve been waiting for. (Note: This show deserves the MA rating – it is frequently violent and disturbing due to the subject matter, and neither the zombies nor the corrupt government officials spare innocents)
The internet is (rightfully) obsessed with the numerous fantastic Joseon Dynasty hats
  • If you like westerns, The Lone Ranger, The Seven Samurai, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, or Star Wars Rebels, watch The Mandalorian (Disney +). Everyone has seen baby Yoda from this show, but you have to actually watch it to understand how painfully adorable the small alien and his guardian (adoptive father) are together. You too would risk everything for baby Yoda after two episodes. Cuteness aside, the writing and directing are solid, with a western, lone gunman feel that is refreshing and fun to watch. It’s more about character and story than many shows on tv, and also pretty family friendly, hanging out in the PG/PG-13 range. My only complaint is that we all have to wait for a second season now . . .
This man’s mask has more varied expressions than many actors I won’t name . . .
  • If you like Beauty and the Beast (any version), Jane Eyre, Labyrinth, Pride and Prejudice, Goblin (Korean Drama), redemption arcs, The Sixth Sense, Once Upon a Time, Grimm, and costume dramas, watch Hotel Del Luna (Viki.com). With gorgeous costumes, soundtrack, (and actors), and a lot of ghosts, this unusual Beauty and the Beast + Count of Monte Cristo + Sixth Sense-esque drama is thoroughly captivating. While the story starts off slow, the interesting characters, individual ghost stories, and the well-handled themes of redemption and forgiveness made this show really stand out. Also, IU (singer and actress) as the lead antagonist/female lead Jang Man-wol, an immortal (?) and mysterious owner of a hotel for ghosts lost between life and the afterlife, is fantastic. Man-wol is the type of character that is generally male, and the role-reversal (a sensitive, morally upstanding, and brave male lead) makes this show even more fun. Hangs out at solidly TV-14 – with some violence, adult subject matter including suicide and murder, some frightening images, and minor innuendo.
More fantastic hats – joined by fantastic dresses

As a side note – if you haven’t watched Stranger Things (Netflix) yet, I highly recommend it. It’s as good as people say, and a really fun concept. And there are 3 seasons (with a 4th on the way). It’s short and smart and well-written, and deserves the praise.

So there you have it – some advice from an introvert and how I’ll be spending my time during social-distancing. Let me know if you have recs, ideas, or just if you want to Talk 🙂 See you soon!
Eclectic? Naturally. And I update frequently

*If anything, the Rot & Ruin Webtoon reminded me that my torch for Tom Imura will never go out.

A Brief November Review (Through the Fog of Jetlag) – with Helpful Gifs

If you have ever had the misfortune to spend over 15 hours in a plane, or over 24 hours travelling, then you probably understand the extreme exhaustion I am currently feeling.

Staying awake is a struggle whenever staying asleep is not a struggle . . .

Basically, I am alternately feeling like I am going to die if I don’t sleep, or like I need to do five-hundred jumping jacks and run around the house (generally at 3 :00 AM or so) – which is just the normal cycle of the human body readjusting after travelling across about half of the world’s timezones.

Jetlag aside, I am safely back in the US of A, and I fully realize I went AWOL around the end of November. Since I have a lot of material to catch up on, including my last (almost) two months of adventures in Korea, and I am (as mentioned), exhausted, I am just writing this short update to clarify that: 1. I am still here, and 2. Plan on blogging more regularly again now that school is over for a few weeks.

First, if anyone tried to visit my blog in the last two weeks, you might have gotten a blank page. Sorry about that – it had security update issues that I couldn’t fix while working from my Korean ip address, and I’ve just managed to sort everything out. But yeah, I didn’t disappear for good this time.

Another cuter but accurate representation of me right now

Second, I fully plan to not only writing a few more posts about my Korean adventures, but I have a fun music tag (evil laugh) courtesy of Sara Letourneau that I’ve been really looking forward to, but some planned book reviews (I read A LOT on the planes), and even some writing updates! SO – while I am not currently lucid or motivated, I do have a lot planned once my brain becomes less scrambled. So stay tuned.

Accurate

Thirdly, here are a few notes/highlights from November and December that I may or may not expand on in the above-mentioned post ideas:

  1. I survived finals and had two extra weeks to explore Korea
  2. Exploring included visiting a book alley, the reality-show famous Lotte World (more on that later), the restaurant BTS (방탄소년단) frequented in their trainee days (the food was delicious, and I took pictures in front of the autographed door, which was unbelievably cool, and a HARRY POTTER CAFE, among others, so you know I’ll have to write about that!
  3. I also went to two Korean musical productions and they blew me away with both the talent/quality and the production values (more on this later)
  4. The musicals were Elisabeth and Jekyll & Hyde, and starred two of my beloved, crazy-talented singing heroes Park Hyung-sik (박형식), and Hong Kwang-ho (홍광호), respectively, which knocked two things off my bucket list.
  5. I over-indulged in watching the fantastic end-of-the-year Korean awards shows that always air in December (their staging is crazy) – see the video below for an example.
  6. I saw three movies: Ocean’s 8 (better than the critics said – solid 7 of 10), Solo: A Star Wars Story (Star Wars overkill, but also better than expected – respectable 6 of 10 stars), and Swing Kids (Korean tap dancing/anti-war film with great characters and dance scenes but really sad- 9 out of 10 stars)
  7. I FINALLY finished reading The Lies of Locke Lamora, among several other books, and I had lots of feelings – review to come.
FYI, this MMA performance was a 2018 highlight

Fourth, I plan on posting at least one coherent post before the new year, as a pre-New Year’s Resolution, and then just relaxing and catching up on some other blogs. Which brings me to the terrible truth that 2019 is in a few days and I am not ready. Not that 2018 was a poster year (though it had many moments! Especially in Korea), but I am just not ready for the year to change over yet. I just adjusted to it being Christmas time, and Christmas is already over!!

Exactly

And speaking of Christmas – who received some amazing books, or found some time to relax and read? I am looking for a few recommendations to check out in the next week. Since I returned so late (Christmas Eve), I am not planning to go back to work for at least another week (because I am basically useless at the moment, lol), so I will have some time to read in the next few days. I also hope to have some time to write. So, if anyone has a great book (especially a quick read) for me, please tell me in the comments.

Regardless, I hope those of you who celebrate had a lovely, restful time with family and/or friends, and I hope you are both more lucid and prepared for 2019 than I am, and I thank you for always reading and sticking with me, despite my erratic postings and tendency to randomness and rambles. Have a good week, and if I don’t follow through on my attempt to post before January 1st, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Writerly Ramblings on Autumn, Nostalgia, and Liminal Space

It’s October 30th, which means two things: October flew past, and Halloween is tomorrow.
Halloween, and by Halloween I mean the American mishmash holiday that involves loads of tacky decorations, borrowed and modified traditions, CANDY (!!), and people in costumes, is something the Korean students I’ve met find very interesting. Of all the things I’ve been asked about the States, Halloween wasn’t an obvious one to be asked about this much!

Anyhow, as I answered questions about costumes, parties, and trick-or-treating, it made me think about the fall: seasonally and thematically a time a death, fading, and transitions. Poets, writers, songwriters, and artists have used autumn and autumnal motifs to describe things like mortality, detachment from the world, the loss of youth or innocence, or interest in the world, etc. However, the other side of fall is one of ripened harvests, abundance, family and community gatherings, and the last hurrah of bonfires or cookouts before winter.

This duality is fascinating to me, and as Autumn has always been my favorite season, I spend a lot of time thinking about it. For me, fall is part nostalgia, part adventure. If nostalgia had a smell, I think it would be a mix of the scent of smoke, dry leaves, old wood, wool scarves, and apples that belongs to autumn. And for adventure – I have always associated fall with The Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit. Fittingly, Hobbit Day, or Frodo and Bilbo’s Birthday is on the first  day of fall (in the US). Fall is the best time for grabbing a pair of boots and hiking. The golden light through colored leaves, the crispness of the air, and the crunch of leaves make me want to keep walking until dark. If only, right? (And then you’d build a bonfire, sleep under the stars, and do the same thing in the morning). I think I missed my calling as a Ranger (Tolkien’s famous wanderers of Middle Earth). I’ve never been a homebody, and I think fall just makes my restless feet even more keen to walk out the door and keep going 😉

Gushing about autumn aside, there is something universal in the ideas that arise at this time of year – something even more apparent as I spend it on the opposite side of the world. The transition of seasons is marked by a renewed appreciation for home and family, along with the awareness of mortality. Major Holidays include Chuseok (Korean Harvest Festival that traditionally involves paying respects to ancestors, more on that to come), Thanksgiving (US and Canada), The Day of the Dead (Mexico), Mid-Autumn Festival (China, Vietnam, and more), Diwali (India, regional variations, but generally emphasizes the defeat of darkness and evil by light and good), and many more.

In ancient Celtic traditions, this time of year was when the human world and the fairy world drew closest, and the space between was more easily crossed. This sort of “liminal space,” the point before crossing a threshold, or that disorientation and half-finished, half-begun area in the middle of a rite or a significant process. In folklore, this area is often a dangerous place for humans, since it is incomplete and unfinished. I think people instinctively understand this moment, and in the time of Autumn transitions, even the weather seems caught between the heat and life of summer and the coldness and natural death of winter. That’s why, in my personal opinion, this time of year also seems to create and inspire so much nostalgia and longing.

After all, nostalgia is a dangerous place sometimes. More so than the space between worlds – and part of me wonders if that was the original connection right there. In fairy stories, if a human wandered across the border between the worlds, they might never make it out again. However, if they did make it out, their wits were normally addled, or they came out at a completely different time than they went in (think Rip Van Winkle different). If they had taken gold or gifts from the fae, those gifts normally turned to leaves, twigs, and acorns. Also, the person usually spend the rest of their life trying to get back to fairyland, to no avail. Their brush with the beauty and the wildness left a mark on them that they couldn’t erase, and therefore, they were never at peace in the human world again (similar to the Nazgul blade and Frodo – healed, but never fully part of his world again).

But fae and magic aside – I think many people (myself included) spend a fair amount of time thinking about the past. Whether it’s that conversation you wish had gone differently, or just wishing you were a child again (anyone who works seems to feel this at least once), there are times when you really just wish time went backward instead of forward. There is also the feeling of melancholy that comes with it. This doesn’t have to be from a particular longing or memory though. It is just as likely to hit you when you walk down a wooded path and catch the scent of a bonfire. If you hear distant laughter or conversation that you aren’t a part of, then the feeling might intensify. Other likely places are beautiful old buildings, empty landscapes, and drives home at 2am with the windows down.

That feeling is typically labeled nostalgia: from the Greek nostos – or “return home/homecoming” added to the Latin –algia; a word ending from the Greek algos “pain,” or algein “to feel pain,” and related to alegein “to care about,” but originally “to feel pain.” So we have a word that basically means to care about or feel pain about returning home, homecoming. More interesting still is the reason the word was coined. According to Etymology.comnostalgia” was coined in the 1700’s to refer to a disease heimweh, meaning severe homesickness. I feel like nostalgia is the pain you get when you feel a sharp and vivid longing for “home,” or something familiar and where you belong- but it might not be where you belong at all. Maybe it’s only a place you feel like you belong.

So to take it back to the fae. Those persons who survived and found their way back to the human world were scarred by their encounter. They couldn’t stop their longing for a home that wasn’t their home, to the point of sickness. They went mad, either in the obvious way, or in the sense of obsession, where the desire to get back to fairyland consumed their sense and the rest of their life. In the “real world,” that longing for the past will always be artificial, because we’re longing for a memory of the past. It’s over, so even though it happened, it no longer exists as an accessible point. So we might as well be longing for fairyland. Sink too deep into the longing for an imagined or distorted past, a past that might have been, or even a past that never was (a time you wished to be part of but were not), and it can steal your joy from the present. If nothing else, it can distract you from taking pleasure in the moment.

Now, I’m not an etymologist or folklore expert, or even a psychologist, so you’re quite welcome to dismiss everything I wrote as nonsense – but it does get you thinking, doesn’t it? And I’ll be really surprised if you’ve never been hit with just the sort of nostalgia I’m talking about.

Which brings me back to Autumn and liminal space. Before the year truly dies (with winter), there’s the last gasp of activity and production (harvest), and the energy that crisp fall air can give you. There is time to spend with family and friends (Thanksgiving or harvest festivals), and the celebrations to get out of your system before winter makes you want to just hide inside with a hot drink. In the space between seasons, the threshold between light and dark, day and night, and the death of an old year transitioning to the new, it is easy to see how you could feel that worlds were closer, doors were open, and that a wrong turn could land you somewhere else altogether.

And if you’re me, the possibility of wandering onto the wrong path isn’t enough to stop you from trying to find a new path to somewhere you’ve never been – which is how I explain my obsessive compulsive desire to follow anything that looks remotely like a path in the woods. Because you never know what you’ll miss if you don’t follow it. I admit – I’m pretty darn prone to nostalgia. It shows up in my writing, and is evident in the songs and the characters I like. I fully admit that it can be a problem. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So now that you’ve heard my jumbled thoughts on the power of Autumn, here are a few classic books and music recommendations to take that path into the woods or just into a different world for a bit. If, and when you surface, does it feel just a little bit bittersweet? If so, that’s the feeling I’m talking about.

Halloween/Fall Books:

  • Joyland by Stephen King – Yes, I know I could have recommended ANY book by Stephen King – but that isn’t the point. Joyland is more about nostalgia than horror (though it does involve some thrills, chills, and a grisly murder), and in many ways, it reads like a tribute to the fantastic Something Wicked this Way Comes. Set at an amusement park in the 70’s, this book is beautifully written and tinged with melancholy.
  • The Pale Blue Eye by Louis Bayard – a historical murder mystery that is both chilling and lyrically written. Set in the mid-1800’s, it does a great job of conveying the setting.
  • Malice by Keigo Higashino – an intricate murder mystery that is about how and why, and not the whom. Beautifully written and spare.
  • Collected Ghost Stories by M.R. James – classic British Ghost stories from the thirties. Creepier than you’d expect, with a restrained writing style hard to find these days.
  • The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson. The creepy classic haunted house tale that is just as good as they say it is.
  • Last Winter We Parted by Fuminori Nakamura – an eerie psychological thriller that isn’t for everyone. This story resembles In Cold Blood, but is much more dreamy and introspective, and quite short.
  • The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield – a book for people who love books, general strangeness, and bizarre family drama. Truly chilling toward the end.
  • Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier – a classic gothic novel so good, I almost forgive Ms. du Maurier for writing the most iconic Rebecca as a truly dreadful woman. Tbh, there are no heroes in this one though, just bad people and worse people.
  • And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie – this book is basically the origin of Clue. Ten strangers summoned to a house in Devon, none of them realizing that they are marked for death. Well plotted suspense with just the right amount of twists.
  • The Perilous Gard by Elizabeth Marie Pope – Sorry not sorry but I will never stop recommending this historical YA novel. It is my favorite realistic twist on the Faye, and I’ll never get tired of this Elizabethan thriller with its brave heroine and dreamy, eerie re-imagining of fairy lore.
  • The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare – a 50’s  YA classic (before there was YA) that I wore out with rereads as a kid. Basically it’s a story about Puritans in the 1600’s, and Kit, a girl with a penchant for both kindness and disobedience that both end up getting her into trouble. The setting is so vivid, you feel like you are in the village, and I’ve always loved how Speare portrayed both good and bad aspects of all her characters.
  • Coraline by Neil Gaiman – while you could read a lot of Gaiman’s books to get a shiver down your spine, I truly think that Coraline might be his most unsettling novel (and naturally, it’s a children’s book). Trapped souls of children, the other mother, button eyes – it’s creepy stuff, and I love how the lonely but adventurous Coraline handles it with the sense that only a kid would have.

How do I know you’ll keep your word?” asked Coraline.
“I swear it,” said the other mother. “I swear it on my own mother’s grave.”
“Does she have a grave?” asked Coraline.
“Oh yes,” said the other mother. “I put her in there myself. And when I found her trying to crawl out, I put her back.”
― Neil Gaiman, Coraline

Mood Music:
First, here’s a link to my Halloween Spotify Playlist, because you know I have one.

Second, here’s a few select (but slightly less obvious) songs to get you in the seasonal mood:

Baby You’re a Haunted House by Gerard Way – I love, love, love this song. And the lyric video is hilarious (reminiscent of the Star Wars Cantina band, but with skeletons). It’s a dance-y, fun song with a rock edge

Skeleton Band from “Baby You’re a Haunted House”

Ghost by Ella Henderson – Another one of my favorite songs. Ella is talking about the ghost of a relationship, but she carries the metaphor through all the way – banishing demons, “haunting” memories of her ex, and all that, and counterbalances her powerful vocals with a jazzy piano and gospel undertones. I love how upbeat this song is, and

Chained to the Rhythm by Katy Perry – Surprise you? This catchy and subtly political song warns against blindly following the crowd and living in a safe bubble (and becoming what Perry terms a “wasted zombie”), and involves a video of zombie-like amusement park-goers.

“Chase Me” by Dreamcatcher

Chase Me by Dreamcatcher – if you like Leaves Eyes or Amaranth, you might want to check out Korean all-girl rock group Dreamcatcher. They go more in for electric bass and creepy concepts than cuteness, and they’re extremely talented singers and dancers. Chase Me is part of a two-part video story about some ghostly girls. With Supernatural-style effects and some creepy visuals, the video is a lot of fun to watch too.

Skulls by Bastille – The British band’s slightly morbid song about everlasting love is one of my go-to tracks. It’s catchy, easy listening, and full of good vocals and clever lyrics.

I Will Be With You (Where the Lost Ones Go) by Sarah Brightman and Paul Stanley – a surprising pairing from 2008 – the queen of Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals and operatic pop plus the singer from KISS. This song is beautifully sung and written, and since it takes a faded relationship to a slightly more epic level, it hits all the nostalgia buttons.

Jackpot by Block B – another song with a great video, this song by Block B is a slightly ominous song about hitting it rich and the risks of money and success, all with an extremely upbeat and catchy refrain. If nothing else, watch the crazy funhouse video.

“Jackpot” by Block B

Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met . . .) by Panic! at the Disco – another upbeat but nostalgic song about relationships, but with Brendon Urie’s amazing voice, a lot of surprising key changes, and clever lyrics. This is one of my favorite P!atD songs, and I feel like it doesn’t get much love.

Jack and Sally’s Song by The Hound + The Fox –  a twist on the Nightmare Before Christmas classic by this talented husband and wife duo from Oregon (definitely check out their version of The Parting Glass with Peter Hollens too!). Anyhow, this one is the lowest key song on the list, with Sally’s Song being turned into a glum but beautiful duet that is both nostalgic and Halloween mood music.

Thriller/Heads will Roll (Glee Cast Version)  by the Glee Cast – of course, nothing beats the original Thriller (which is also on my playlist, obviously) but this high energy mash up of it and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs Heads will Roll. The vocals are good, the combinations works well, and its a great song for dancing or cleaning out your basement (which is a lot scarier than most Halloween activities) or even raking leaves.

“Thriller/Heads Will Roll” by the Glee Cast

So there we have it – ten tracks to suit the mood. Have you listened to these songs or artists before?

What about the books; have you read them? And hey – if you really could walk into another world, would you? Or would you just regret not doing it? I think my answer is pretty easy to guess.

Small, Good Things: September in Review

thankI had really planned on doing Nandini Bharadwaj from Unputdownable Books Lord of the Rings Tag for September (which is Hobbit Month, obviously* ;P) but life and school and my bad memory (for the books I’ve read recently TT) made me drag on with that, and now it is apparently October 1st.

Regardless of the criticism I have for the Hobbit movies – Martin Freeman is a FANTASTIC Bilbo.

I am slightly dismayed, as this means time went so quickly – and I’ve already been in Korea for a month and a half! I don’t even want to think about that.

I DO PLAN ON DOING THE TAG. JUST IN OCTOBER.

Also – the good part is – we are in the best part of the year! From September through December is my favorite time to be outside, inside, and generally alive and a human in this world. For one thing, it is officially autumn (가울/Ga-eul in Korean), which is my favorite season – and that means

leaves changing, sweater weather, hiking!, pumpkins and squash, Halloween, Thanksgiving, food, steaming mugs of tea or cider paired with your favorite book, knitting, and I could go on.

As autumn slides into winter, we have Christmas and winter peace, and more opportunities for sweaters, tea, books, and knitting. Summary: I just really like this time of year. Also, apparently Autumn is the most beautiful time to be in Pohang (this post), according to the friends I’ve made here. Considering it is already beautiful, I’m really excited to see the new dimensions that fall colors bring to the gorgeous Korean landscape.

So now that I’ve gushed a bit about fall – it’s time to look back at September. It was a very busy month for me, but I somehow managed to write 4 involved posts (and start drafts of about 5 more), read a few books, and keep up with school at a new university. I also plan on sharing some of the “small, good things” that helped keep my spirits up as I reentered the blogging world for a whole month, and tried to re-engage with people offline and online. All while studying abroad for the first time. In other words, I have a lot to be grateful for, but I think sometimes I forget that. Counting small (or not so small) blessings is often a way to remember to be grateful, and so that is how I am organizing this September Summary Post.

A Dozen Small, Good Things – with illustrative gifs:

  1. Korean Food

I love food and I love to cook too – so living in a dorm with an upstairs (read: minimal) kitchen space has been a challenge. However, I managed to make kimchi jjigae there with the limited resources. Korean food is sheer comfort food for me, and it is all so delicious. I am really grateful that I am able to eat, enjoy meals with friends, and try so many things while here in Korea. Some of the best so far? Hotteok, Tteokbokki and Sundae, and all the amazing food for Chuseok last week (Chuseok post coming soon!).

2. Umbrellas

I have never been so grateful to the inspired human who decided we need tents on sticks to keep ourselves out of the sun or rain! Just like in Hong Kong, it spontaneously rains all the time in Pohang. But unlike in Hong Kong, the rain here is cold. It chills you and somehow seeps in your clothes.

Can also double as a weapon

Enter the sturdy, thick handled umbrella. Resistant against rain and protective against hot sun, the only thing that will defeat it is a typhoon. (I have it on good authority that most Handong students go through 5 umbrellas a year)**

3. Hot Water Dispensers

Water purifiers are all over campus. In the states, this is also common, but the water is always cold. This is fantastic – unless you want a quick cup of tea or want to make the world’s laziest cup of ramen (and admit it, sometimes we all do). But in Handong, and honestly, most of Korea (restaurants, malls, hostels, etc) are outfitted with handy water dispenser that will give hot OR cold water. So simple but so brilliant. I will miss it terribly.

This gif is therapeutic

4. Wifi

Wifi, wifi, everywhere. I even found it in a gorge once. Koreans are known for their wifi and it lives up to the reputation of being fast and easy to find. This is invaluable if you don’t have a Korean phone number, as apps like WhatsApp, Line, and Kakao Talk let you chat with friends all over the world for no extra fees. WiFi also makes it easier to access maps, bus schedules, dictionaries, addresses, and all the other little details that make navigating a different country so much easier. Sometime connection can be a beautiful thing.

5. Buses

Old, new, grungy, or clean – they are always right on time and so reliable. the public transportation here is a thing of beauty, and I love the ability to hop on a bus and make it anywhere on a map, maybe with a few transfers, and all you have to do is swipe a transportation card. That same card can get you on a subway as well, so its doubly useful. Coming from the States and especially the Midwest, some people may not realize how blindingly brilliant I find public transportation – but it is one of the best things in the world and we need it STAT.

6. Public Parks

Grave mounds

Big, small, National – I don’t care – I am an equal opportunity lover of public parks. Korea, so far, doesn’t seem to have the same sorts of manicured, cultivated parks that randomly sprout out of a city block like in Hong Kong, but they have something even better: mountains that sprout out of city blocks. If you like to hike (and everyone who has visited this blog probably knows what a hiking enthusiast I am), then Korea is a fantastic place to be.

Though not every park has a mountain, there are a proliferation of parks that have everything from national monuments to exercise equipment (yes, just outside and free to use), pavilions, benches, ponds, gardens, and in the case of the wooded park behind my school, a lake AND some random grave mounds. A lot more interesting  than your average park.

Regardless, there is always something to see, and you can get fresh air, exercise, and a change of scenery by basically just walking outside. It is fantastic and I love it so much. If there’s a mountain, that just makes things even better.

7. Blog/Instagram Comments

I sometimes take a long time to answer, and I am lately rather bad at going around and leaving comments of my own, but I really love the dialogue online. It’s not so much that I care if people like to read what I wrote (though that is a nice bonus!), I just really like to chat and interact and hear about others’ experiences too. When I first started blogging, I really just wanted to find a community of people who cared about the same things

Sometimes this is as much as I can come up with ;P

and had the same passions, because I was lacking that in the offline world. So every time someone comments on my posts, or even social media, I know that they “listened,” and are now responding, so then we had a conversation. I love that.

8. Sunlit forests

Yes, I’m a nature girl (See #6), and if I’m stressed or keyed up, my instinct is to flee the crowds and find some trees. There is something so magical about the way sunlight makes patterns though leaves and trees – it never looks the same way twice, and I have actually stood for about an hour watching the change in light and shadow on a forest floor. Really. It’s even hard for me to photograph, since ever minute the light changes, there is a new pattern or design that wasn’t there before.

The Woods of Palgongsan, Daegu, ROK

I think the great love for trees, forests, and the particular way that afternoon sun turns all things to gold, was one of the many reasons I bonded so much with Tolkien’s writing as a kid. His love for forests, for the way they feel alive and almost seem to listen – for the way they can make you feel not so alone when you are by yourself – it always spoke to me. No matter how young I was when my dad started reading the books to us, that was something I understood on the most basic level.

9. Korean Reality TV

Running Man, King of Mask Singer, 2 Days 1 Night, Law of the Jungle, Return of Superman, and all of the many, many random programs found on both the actual TV and on VLive (app/website) are a gift to language learners, and anyone who just wants some innocent gut-shaking laughter. If you have never watching Korean Reality TV, you are missing out – because I’m not talking American made-for-tv-drama called reality, or toddlers in makeup, or wild beach parties – I’m talking about tv hosts with big personalities creating mischief, playing silly but fun games, learning skills or crafts, and the funniest use of subtitles ever. Not only do the frequent subtitles give you Korean language practice, they often add, comment on, or embellish whatever is going on in the program. If you don’t know any Korean, and have no plan to learn, there are a ton of websites that provide English subs as well as other languages, so you can enjoy the programs too (I mean, my 5-year old sister can’t read more than letters, and she’s an avid Running Man fan).

 

10. Remembering New Vocabulary

Every time I think I have mastered a new phrase, conjugation, or word in Korean, I seem to forget about five others. It’s really rough when I am working so hard to understand, but the things I want to say just won’t come out! 생각이 많이 있어서 말 하고 싶어요. 그러나 한국말 하는 것을 좀 어려워요. 단어가 기억할 수 없으면 특히 답답해요. (I have a lot of thoughts so I want to speak. But Korean is a little difficult to speak. It’s especially frustrating if I can’t remember a word) [ Any errors in the sentence are mine].

그래서 (keu-rae-soh), or therefore, when I remember a word, especially at the perfect time, I am always so, so grateful. 진짜요. (Really)

11. Spotify Premium

I’m so glad I signed up for Student Spotify Premium before I left the States. It’s worth the $5 a month to be able to play whatever  I want, whenever I

want it (even if I don’t have WiFi, I can play downloaded playlists). Since SP isn’t available in Korea, I can only use it because I signed up in the US – and it has been a wonderful service to have. I don’t think I have to write any more about why music is a necessary part of my life (see this post), but here are 5 diverse but upbeat tracks I am really into at the moment! ***

Se Vuelve Loca by CNCO – as far as my very rudimentary knowledge of Spanish goes, this is about a girl who loves to be seen when she’s dancing. It’s got a great groove, and those beautiful vocals I always love from CNCO. They’re super talented, and all of their songs make you want to get up and dance (also check out the Tainy Remix of Diganle featuring Leslie Grace!)

All Time Low by Straight No Chaser – the brilliant men of acapella pop-cover group Straight No Chaser take on Jon Bellion’s 2016 hit, adding some on point vocalizing and beatboxing. Catchy, a little eerie, and somehow still dance-worthy, it’s been a frequent go-to for me this month.

Way Back Home by SHAUN – It says a lot about this song that I still love it even though I heard it before it was popular, and now I can’t go anywhere in Korea without hearing it at least once! SHAUN’s voice is smooth, effortless, and the soft cry to his falsetto is magic with the gentle island beat and guitar that back them up in this smash hit from his first EP. He’s also a DJ and producer – so, yeah, talented guy.

Lonely (feat. Max) Steve Aoki Remix by Matoma- Norwegian DJ/Producer of house and tropical-vibed dance music, Matoma, teams up with my much-loved Max, and they get added gloss from Steve Aoki in this pulsing, broody anthem that still makes you feel good somehow. Max just wants to know where you were when he was lonely? Is that such a hard question?

Up All Night by David Archuleta – Not a name you’ve heard in a while? Me neither. I randomly stumbled across this 2017 track by the former American Idol while gearing up a play queue for a long study session. It’s also dance-y, but David Archuleta has the voice of an angel, and its brilliant paired with a dance-pop track reminiscent of early-2000’s Céline Dion in the best kind of way.

12. Instant Coffee

Last, but never least – COFFEE. Sure, there are cute cafes everywhere in Korea, and I could walk down a block, buy an Americano every 3 shops, and be broke by the time I made it back to campus. Instant coffee, while not the same quality level, is still a must when you live in a dorm without a coffee pot for 4 months. And when there are instant hot water dispensers (see #3), then you never have to be out of reach of coffee. I actually managed to find some pretty decent tasting stuff here, and it’s already helped propel me through a couple late group-project nights.

There are a lot more than a dozen things to be thankful for, especially now that it is the best time of year (my unbiased opinion). What are some small, daily reminders to you that show you how much you have, and how blessed you are? Have you taken time to be grateful today? Please tell me in the comments (#7, wink, wink, nod, nod). And as always, thanks for reading!

*September is Tolkien Month/Hobbit Month because I (and some other people) say so. But Hobbit Day (September 22nd, Bilbo and Frodo’s Birthday, is verified by the most trustworthy Wikipedia)

**True story. My friend said that the average Handong student goes through 5 umbrellas a year, and that is why you often see battered, ruined umbrellas in trashcans after really terrible storms.

***ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ But no, not today, 그 때가 오늘은 아니지

 

#WritingLife – How I Get Myself Writing When I’m Uninspired

So my previous post was about music and how it encourages me when I’m feeling low, right? (And there was a significant segment about BTS, but that was related) Anyhow, that post got me thinking about all the ways I have combated creative slumps in the past, with more or less success.

First off – we must acknowledge that sometimes you just can’t write. Even if you want to. I have experienced this frequently over the past year. I have an idea, see the plot and the characters coming together in my brain, and then I sit down and I can’t write anything at all.

Too much of this isn’t just frustrating, it’s extremely depressing. It’s a terrible place for creative people to be. For me (and I suspect many others), the act of making art – of any kind – is a compulsion and a need. Even if no one ever sees it but you, you have to get it out. That’s the best way I can describe it. (Actually, the analogy of a backed up drain comes to mind, but that’s some gross imagery you probably don’t want to read).

The point is, a creative slump is a dark place, and that can be hard to explain to people who don’t feel the same way.

So last year was the deepest dip of a 2 year slump that was partially induced by going back to school and working every spare hour. Statistically speaking, I wasn’t getting enough sleep or nourishment to be doing my best work at any time. Which meant the 3% of brain power I had was devoted to doing as well as possible in my classes, and then into waiting tables with as much of a positive, decent human being face as I could manage. And sometimes that sort of work is necessary to get what you want.

Basically my brain

I couldn’t be here in Korea now studying if I had slacked off or let myself breathe more. But a side effect of all this was my creative side was getting progressively more sluggish, lazy, and out of shape.

However, as anyone following my blog return might notice, I have been slowly reintroducing regular writing and reading back into my schedule, and working on whipping the creative side back into some sort of usable fitness level. In the past, I’ve made the mistake of trying to go back all at once, and we know that works as well as crash dieting (to continue the metaphor). A week or so you do great, and then you fail in an epic way. Same with getting back into writing and art. It doesn’t work in the long-term.

So what does work? Well, same as using the fitness advice above – things don’t work the same for everyone – but here are the top 5 “exercises” I have done to successfully break out of creative slumps past and present.

  1. Go outside

I cannot stress this one enough. Being indoors all day long (especially studying or in classes) is mind-numbing and takes all your energy. You will feel much better if you get fresh air and change your scenery. If possible, leave the work for an hour and take a bike ride, walk a few blocks, and just look around you at the scenery. If you can’t focus, put in some headphones and observe the world from inside the bubble of your favorite songs. The reason this is my number one tip is because it is easy and almost always works. It’s not magic, but it’s the closest thing. Since I have been in Korea, I have been taking a walk or exercising almost every day. Not only does it get the blood flowing and release those positive endorphins, the scenery around Pohang is gorgeous and inspiring, and it has helped me get and stay in a writing/creative mood.

2. Start Small

If you can’t write a chapter, write a blog post. If you can’t write a post, take some pictures . If that’s too hard, make a Pinterest board for a new character or project. Draw a comic strip of how you feel and post it on Instagram. Write a poem if you don’t want to draw a picture. Actually, if there is any other creative hobby you enjoy: do a small amount of it! If it’s cooking, bake cookies. If it’s knitting, knit a row or two. Whatever it is, just do what you can manage for the day. The best thing about things like knitting or photography is that you get some instant gratification – even if a project isn’t perfect or finished, you still get to see achievement.

Current project – knit while watching Suits (Korean Version) 🙂

3. Talk through Your Project

This one isn’t as simple because it can’t be as easily done by yourself (but it can be!). Find a sympathetic ear and outline your project, talking through the problems, goals, and design. If no one wants to listen, type up the conversation, or write it on paper and use it as a way to brainstorm and plan. For example, if I have a novel idea, I always jot it down even if I don’t feel like writing. If I am stuck there, then I write out aspects of the plot or characters that occur to me, grouping them by character name or plotline (which I usually number). This is something I do at the beginning of a project, but also when I am stuck halfway. Usually I call my (very patient) sister and talk through the project in detail. Another person’s perspective can be really useful, and often you’ll find that just verbalizing what you are doing can help you figure out problems on your own.

Say it just like this and they’ll listen for at least a minute

4. Read/Research

Don’t groan. If you’re a writer, knowing your subject inside and out can help you write more freely when you are in the mood, instead of making you stop to check facts or details every thirty seconds. It is also extremely important to thoroughly know your subject and have hours of study/experience if you are writing about something unfamiliar (a different country, a special skill, etc). For example, field research like getting involved in soccer and reading up on the international names in the sport is a good foundation for writing a soccer-themed novel (obvious, but you can’t say it enough).

If you are an artist, researching and reading about other techniques can also help generate inspiration. From blogs to scholarly articles, there is always an expert somewhere to consult! Also, especially if you are a writer, reading other novels, especially outside your genre, is a great way to recharge and spark your imagination. In addition, it’s your chance to learn from others’ successes and mistakes, so you can apply that knowledge to your own project. Research isn’t just academic either – it can be museum visits, historical site trips, or even watching movies/shows that are on your topic. If it gets you inspired and ready to be creative, then it isn’t a waste of time and energy 🙂

5. Take a nap.

Naps are the saving grace of the student/part-time worker’s life. If you can’t keep your eyes open, or you feel sluggish and lethargic, shut your books or computer, set a timer, and allow yourself to rest. Don’t look at your phone, turn off the lights, and do breathing exercises or something else that will help you relax.

Same Suga/민윤기씨. Same.

If you’re busy and sleep-deprived, then you know why your brain isn’t working, and a power nap, or even just a rest, can help you recharge enough to make a difference. Sometimes, if I’m tired but not falling asleep, I try to mentally immerse myself in the world of a story I’m working on. I imagine the daily life of a character, their conversations, what they look like – and by that time, I usually fall asleep! If not, I have some details to write down for that story.

And like I said above – set a timer otherwise, if you are like me, you will sleep and sleep and then miss something you should have been doing!

So there you have it:  my top 5 tips for dealing with creative slumps ! What about you – do you have any tips or tricks for breaking out of the bad cycles? Are any of them the same? If so, I want to hear about them!

 

2018.08.25: 1:00 AM – Love Yourself?

Before I start – I’ll warn you – this post rambles, is really long, and it gets personal – and there is a lot about music. Also – I linked every song mentioned so you can find them if you like!

You know how you just start pondering life when you go to bed, and then you’re up until 3Am, just lost in thought (or maybe even having some sort of crisis)? I do this a lot, and it can be a problem, but it can also lead to good insight.

Whether you’re replaying a conversation a thousand times, or panicking because you have to pay tuition for another two semesters, this sort of thing always hits after midnight, am I right?

“You Are the Moon,” The Hush Sound

Anyhow – anyone reading this probably knows how “musically affected” I am. Words already push so many buttons in my mind, and when you set them to music – make them an anthem or a mantra of sorts, then it’s no surprise that music can be such a big part of my mental health.

Sometimes I have to put in my headphones to escape the noise, chaos, and distractions surrounding me (and everything distracts me). Better still is putting in my headphones and heading outside. It’s a strange paradox (and I think a lot of introverts would relate), but if I feel lonely, I tend to head for even more solitude (??) and put in the headphones. Whether it’s the voice, the familiarity, or the words – music I love has a way of making me feel like I’m not alone.

“Iron” – Within Temptation

Good lyrics (and songs) connect you through experience and feelings and remind you that other people have felt the same way, or dealt with similar things.

Do you ever have that eerie tingling familiarity when you hear a song for the first time? Like you could have written it, or that it put what you were feeling into words that you weren’t able to express? This happens with novels and poetry too – when a certain line grabs you and makes you pause to reread it. Those are some of my favorite moments when I read too, and it’s one of the reasons I love words so much.

“Alone Together,” Fall Out Boy

That’s also why a concert crowd full of strangers is often less lonely than a room full of casual friends or acquaintances. At a concert by yourself – you’re alone together – all there for the same reason,  united by music. But if you’re like me and you have a hard time really bonding and seem to slip through the cracks of social interaction . . . then the room full of acquaintances (especially if there are some established friend groups in there) can be the loneliest place in the world.

“The Light Behind Your Eyes,” My Chemical Romance

 

In a lot of ways, school has been that kind of lonely for me. I was always that person who didn’t fit in – I could  get along with anyone – but that was all. As I’ve mentioned in other posts – being older than everyone sometimes is an automatic barrier – whether it’s the constant working on my side, or them feeling uncomfortable because I’m 5-7 years older (that’s not even that much!)

And I’ll be honest and say that yes – I am frequently awkward and inept in social situations I am not paid to deal with (i.e, anywhere outside of work!). Sometimes I can’t think of anything to say, and other times, it seems like nothing I say matters regardless. I’m torn between wanting to connect to other people, and wanting to retreat into myself. And spending too much time in your own head is unhealthy.

“Let You Down,” NF

So that was a pretty long introduction, I know – but the point is – this is how I am and who I am and I’ve struggled to accept many things about myself for years. I won’t get into the details, but the last two years at school and work in Grand Rapids have been difficult. I stopped blogging, I almost stopped reading and writing completely. There were weeks when the only people I saw or talked to face-to-face were co-workers and customers, and it was draining.

“New Beautiful” – Epik High

I spent a lot of time praying, and probably more time being angry. In those times, when I was holding pain inside and I didn’t want to talk about it – that was when I would just listen to music and hold onto the words – because someone out there felt the same way, and we were linked by the song. No matter where I’ve been in my life or over the years – songs, poems, and books were friends that would never leave or lose interest. That is why I am so grateful for every singer or writer I’ve connected with – and I hope that every one of them knows that they make a difference with their words and their gifts.

What got me off on this tangent was that all ^this^ was what I was thinking about at 1:00 am on a Saturday morning in South Korea. Music and loneliness.

“Northern Downpour,” Panic! at the Disco

The day before, Friday, August 24th, was the end of our orientation into HGU, and after the long week in a new place, we celebrated until late that night (see my last post), and when I finally collapsed into bed, my mind was still very awake. Part of it was concerns about the coming semester (money, will I be able to work on Korean if I’m with International Students, money, can I travel?, how will I pay for tuition when I get back?, what if I can’t settle in? oh, and did I mention money?) and part of it was because that Friday was the day that BTS (방탄소년단) dropped their new(ish) repackaged album Love Yourself 結 ‘Answer, the final album in a three-part release, beginning with Love Yourself 承 ‘Her.’  Second was Love Yourself 轉 ‘Tear’ – which had an aesthetic that resonated so deeply it got me out of the aforementioned creative slump (for real). . .

Anyone who reads my Twitter feed saw me gushing about the “Singularity” aesthetic earlier this year. *still haven’t recovered*

So of course, I was pretty excited to see what Answer had to offer. Especially after we got yet another beautiful song trailer with meaningful lyrics (just stick with me – I promise this relates to the rest of the post!)

Self-acceptance is the theme this time around

ALSO this trilogy is actually continuing a series that the guys first began in 화양연화 pt.1  (The Most Beautiful Moments in Life or HYYH ), which feature a sort of alternate universe populated by characters with the members’ names and a complex storyline. The lyrics, videos, notes, and concepts of all their albums since have been tied to this storyline, but also featured many references to literature, art, pop culture, and even current events. (See Wings)

Art Credit @ Mar5122 via DeviantArt Lyrics – “Intro: Nevermind” – BTS

There are people who have a lot of smarter stuff to write about this than I do (links below!), and super talented translators who spend their own, unpaid time to translate lyrics and notes (and I like to do my own translations, but I am not that good and I am sloooow – links to the masters below**).

Anyhow, the point is, if you are a book nerd or a concept album nut (I am both, as should be obvious by now), you love it when bands do this. Some of my all-time favorite bands have done equally elaborate things (Within Temptation did a film series, while MCR had comics and videos, etc.), but few things have managed to hit all of my author buttons like BTS’s HYYH saga. This is as brief of a summary as I can give (and if you know a lot about BTS, it’s probably missing something important and telling you old news, but bear with me here) – but the point of this is that their most recent “Love Yourself” trilogy that is making history for Korean and Global charts (and YouTube) has dealt with a lot of aspects of and thoughts about love.

The final part (Answer), which was released Friday, was about loving yourself and accepting yourself for who you are – not changing to love or be loved by anyone else. Idol, the title track, is a high-powered anthem about how the guys have accepted who they are and who they have become due to their international fame and recognition. It’s upbeat, powerful, and combines traditional Korean visuals and themes with dance pop and pulsing beats. And the video is a can’t-miss.

A giant shark is just one of many spectacles . . . ^^

I knew the album had dropped that night, but I wasn’t able to listen to any of it until much later, and by that time, I was in bed and just popped on my headphones to listen to the new songs. They were all good – but the reason I decided to write this post was because of the song Answer: Love Myself. It has minimal instrumentals, a retro, feel-good groove with gorgeous vocals and gentle rap lines, and it takes its time building up into an anthem-style pop song. All this is great, but it was the lyrics that really got me – as a culmination of the previous projects and because they hit so close to home.

To paraphrase here, the song basically talks about how it’s sometimes harder to love yourself than those around you, and how you make rules and standards for yourself to conform to that you can’t achieve, and you have to face and accept who you are, and that it might take a lifetime to do this. However, it does it with lovely imagery that you can read in a better (!) and full translation here. But I wanted to take a stab at translating it myself: DISCLAIMER – I am just an intermediate Korean student and if you see something I translated incorrectly tell me. Read BangtanTranslations if you want expert translations!

정답은 없을지도 몰라                            Maybe there isn’t a right answer*
어쩜 이것도 답은 아닌 거야                  Maybe/Perhaps this also isn’t an answer

그저 날 사랑하는 일조차                       It’s just that even for loving myself
누구의 허락이 필요했던 거야               I needed someone else’s permission

난 지금도 나를 또 찾고 있어                Right now I’m looking for myself/me again
But 더는 죽고 싶지가 않은 걸             But I don’t want to die anymore
슬프던 me                                                Sad me (past tense – me that was sad, etc)
아프던 me                                                Sick/hurt me (past tense again)
더 아름다울 美                                         (which will be) more beautiful (mei –                                                                                 Chinese character for beauty, sounds like ‘me’                                                                       the way they pronounce it)**

*The first line literally means they don’t know if a “correct answer” exists. **With the character 美 said as ‘me,’ this could read as “the me which will be more beautiful” – (Lyrics from Answer: Love Myself, Copyright @BigHit)

At any rate, this gives you an idea of what’s going on in the song, and why the lyrics might strike a chord! As I was feeling lonely and wondering why I couldn’t just let go and have fun with a group – especially since I was so thrilled about being in Korea – inevitably my thoughts turned to how the problem was me. And there is always some truth to that – it’s good to realize your deficiencies so you can change them. But sometimes it’s impossible to just love yourself and embrace who you are. No one can make you lovable, and changing who you are/how you are to gain others’ love isn’t the answer either. You have to love yourself for who you are, especially if you are going to become better. This is the overall message of BTS’s Love Yourself series (obviously?).

Words aren’t the answer to everything – sometimes they’re just a band-aid trying to fix a broken limb – but they are powerful and can be used to harm or heal. In conclusion – I want to sincerely thank every band, writer, singer, novelist, and other wordsmiths out there for using their words to speak the truth, explain, comfort, heal, encourage, and promote understanding.

“Epilogue: Young Forever” BTS/방탄소년단

**LINKS TO THE MASTERS (AKA Resources):

Three of my favorite experts who talk about Asian pop culture, representation, controversy (and a lot of other really interesting things):

Jae-Ha Kim (Journalist)

Ask a Korean (Fantastic Blogger)

Angry Asian Man (another fantastic Blog)

Great videos to explain Korean songs and MVs: DKDKTV explain Idol 

Dedicated fellow ARMY who spend their time translating everything BTS: BTS-Translations/Subs And their translation of Answer: Love Myself

Translations of the HYYH notes, posts, and articles: Glitter_jk

And last, but not least – an very abbreviated playlist of my songs for 1 AM  crises or when you need to be alone with your music:

Quarter Past Midnight – Bastille  – still one of my all-time favorites. Dan Smith has the most beautiful cry in his voice. *chills* –Okay? Happier, Good GriefBasket Case (Green Day cover) . . . JUST LISTEN TO EVERYTHING THIS MAN HAS EVER SUNG

Congratulations – Day6   A crazy talented Korean rock band with clever lyrics and great instrumentals. They put on a heck of a live show if they are ever near you!  I love everything Day6 has put out, and I would also highly recommend their recent single Shoot Me.

Prodigal SonRationale – ahh, I love Rationale so much. This track is pretty straightforward – about sons questioning their fathers’ absence. Rationale first dropped it at the end of 2016 (on Soundcloud).. R & B synthpop with African elements and influences would be the style here, and I love how Rationale takes his time with the melody, holding back his gorgeous baritone power vocals until the choruses. You should listen to the whole album.

Hold Me (feat. Ja Mezz)– MRSHLL . MRSHLL has been at the top of my list of newer artists I listen to all the time. His voice is like velvet – and his style of throbbing r & b with minimal instrumentals and excellent vocals – I love it so much. “Hold Me” is a chill song that you can get lost in for a few minutes.

Whalien 52  – BTS  (Lyrics Translation)

From Whalien 52

A song about a lonely whale (seriously) – it uses the metaphor of a whale that no other whales can hear (52-Hertz whale), in a scenario a lot like the situations I was describing above! It’s catchy but melancholy, and one of my favorite BTS songs ever. And while we’re talking favorite BTS songs – you should definitely listen to Spring Day/봄날 , which is one of my favorite songs in any language, and so perfectly captures bittersweet feelings and nostalgia. I can never decide if it makes me happy or sad though.

Dancing is Not a Crime – Panic! at the Disco. This is a feel-good Broadway-tinged song with the usual touch of despair via Brendon Urie’s phenomenal voice. I love the clever lyrics and the way he uses his voice to embellish them. (And the line “I’m a moonwalker, I’m like MJ up in the clouds – I know it sounds awkward . . . ^^)

Still New York – Max, Joey Bada$$. If you’ve ever been nostalgic about a place you will get this song. I love Max’s voice so much, and the lyrics really capture the NYC feel. It’s upbeat and has a great refrain to sing along to.

Cold Water – Justin Bieber, Major Lazer.  You can throw rocks at me later. I am fully aware that this is a Bieber song and that it was pretty popular. BUT – if you listen to the lyrics, it’s relatable, and it’s also a dance-worthy, feel-good guilty pleasure track that will stop your playlist from getting too low.

Missing Person – Michael W. Smith. This song is old – but the message and sincerity still  get me the way they did when I first heard it (I think I was 8?) It still convicts me and makes me think. And it’s really catchy with a unique sound.

Bring Back the Summer (feat. Oly) – Boehm Remix – Rain Man. For whatever reason, I really like dance pop? I love to dance myself (even though I’m terrible, lol). There isn’t much to this song, but it’s fun to dance or workout to, and still has traces of sadness under the throbbing beat.

The Light Behind Your Eyes – My Chemical Romance. One of my favorite songs from one of my favorite bands of all time (killjoys never die) – it’s far more gentle than the normal MCR song, but just as honest and thought-provoking.

Flip it over and – MAGIC

Save MeBTS. This is a song you immediately want to dance to (and the video is amazing, like all their videos) – but it has a desperation underlined by the repeated “Save Me, Save Me, I need your love before I fall, fall . . .” that alternates with soaring vocals. The first time I heard it, I couldn’t stop listening to it. Bonus: the sequel song “I’m Fine” is also fantastic.

Love Still Goes On – The Click Five. I have a thing for disbanded groups, which adds a bittersweet touch to any song. The Click Five have been close to my heart for years. This song is all snare-drums, synth, and power vocals. It’s a song about moving on, change, aging, and how love can continue through those things.

SomewhereWithin Temptation . WT are another band that I will always love – no one has ever topped their soaring symphonic metal. Anyhow, they are always a heavy rotation for me, but I tend to like the power ballads and higher octane songs best. Somewhere is not either of those things. It’s a gentle, hopeful song about finding someone/something – and persevering until you achieve your goal. Sharon’s voice has never been more beautiful or touching, and the lush strings and subtle backing vocals are the perfect accompaniment. The acoustic version with fellow rock vocalist Anneke Van Giersbergen is also phenomenal!

I Need U– BTS  – I promise I’ll quit it with the BTS after this (but really, you need to listen to their entire discography). I Need U is the song that really got me into BTS and into their album’s storyline. I think it’s the same for a lot of fans though. Something about the chorus, the video, the earnestness of it all – and the relatability (is that a word?) factor which is one of their biggest global draws.

Unknown (To You)  Timbaland Remix – Jacob Banks. Jacob Banks has one of those voices that makes you stop what you’re doing just to listen. If he sang through a dictionary, it would probably be worth listening to. The song I picked is one of those brooding, broken-hearted pleading ballads, and you can just feel the emotion of the lyrics through his voice. The strings, drum, and piano cushion for his voice is perfection.

Never Enough – Loren Allred. You will recognize this song if you saw The Greatest Showman. Gentle piano intro, theatricality, and a lovely melody suit the lyrics. This one tugs at your emotions but isn’t quite as easily embraced as the fantastic This is Me. I think it’s the raw ambition and dissatisfaction (of Never Enough) as opposed to the self-acceptance message^^. My only complaint is that Brendon Urie hasn’t done a cover of it.

Before the Sunset/해가 지기 전에 – Eric Nam  This song has the dubious claim of being one of the few songs that has made me cry on repeated occasions. So why is it on this list? The song is completely in Korean, but I think that the regret, sadness, and longing of the lyrics translate through the song and Eric Nam’s beautiful delivery. It’s from the Korean crime drama Mad Dog– which was also one of the best shows I watched in the past 2 years.

High HopesPanic! at the Disco – I think everyone has heard this song? But listen to the lyrics. This is probably one of the most relatable songs that Urie has ever written. It’s catchy and fun, but the dry observations about success and working hard are the real winners when you pair them with Brendon Urie’s vocal talent (I also highly recommend listening to Dying in LA).

OKAY – that was a really long post and I’m impressed if you made it to the end

I just had to get it off my chest, you know? Anyhow, is music like this for you, or not really? Do you recharge by seeing people or having time to yourself? Has there been a time in your life when words really helped or hurt you? Did you look at my playlist? Do you have songs to add? (I mean, if I put my whole playlist it would have been over 200 songs, lol).

Answers?

 

The (Wo)man Who Walked up a Bridge and Came Down a Mountain

I don’t know if anyone who reads this is familiar with that old Hugh Grant movie the Englishman Who Walked up a Hill and Came Down a Mountain? Anyhow, in that movie, a cartographer has to tell a Welsh village that their mountain is “technically” a hill. The town doesn’t like this, so they decide to build the hill up until it is a mountain.

It’s kind of a cute story, to be honest, with beautiful cinematography. Anyhow, a mountain has to be over 1000 feet/300 meters above sea level, which of course, means that many peaks are just big hills, like in that movie. Namsan (남산 – South Mountain), or the peak that has been basically incorporated into the city of Seoul itself, comes just under at 262 meters (860 feet). But I dare you to challenge anyone about this fact. Namsan is an iconic spot, and is even mentioned in the Korean national anthem! The entire peak has been turned into a park of sorts, with an abundance of walking trials, and crowned by the recognizable silhouette of Namsan Seoul Tower (남산서울타워). Add the tower’s 236.7 meters, and you have a structure around 480 meters above sea level!

You can take a bus all the way to the top, which I considered, but I really wanted to see the scenery. And at that point, I had been walking for awhile.

Proof that I dunked my foot in the Han River

I didn’t start my walking tour at Namsan, but actually across the Han river via Banpo Bridge (반포대교). The bridge connects the Seocho and Yongsan districts and is double-decker (combined with the lower Jamsu Bridge), with walking/biking paths along the sides of the bottom level. While the bridge is home to the world’s longest bridge fountain (according to Guinness Book of World Records), that is only at night. During the day, there are cool breezes and beautiful sights in both directions. The bridge is 1,495 m (4,905 ft) long, making a nice walk.

Anyhow, after the bridge, I walked a few more blocks until I found a subway station, and I rode from there to the Namsan exit. This is the point where I could have easily taken a bus, but Namsan is basically a giant park with gorgeous winding paths and rest spots featuring a botanical garden, mineral springs, or shaded benches. There was only one choice.

Walkways and lily ponds

I’ll be honest, it was hot, sticky, and there are a ton of stairs and steep angles. However, coming around the top to the tower was extremely satisfying. Just before the top is a built-in viewing point to take fantastic panoramas of Seoul (see below).

Hello Seoul!

And up top, the tower itself is basically part icon, part tourist trap. There are the usual gift shops and restaurants, and the many-cultured throngs taking pictures. The tower is split into three major levels, with the first part housing more restaurants and shops, as well as an arcade, the second part having an outdoor viewing area, and the third, final level which is the highest part of the tower. Arcades are my weakness, and I basically spent my money for lunch and dinner there – and I regretted nothing. It was so nice to throw darts and play video games for an hour.

Seoul City Wall – which you’ll see a lot of if you hike up

All parts of the tower are free to access except the third level, which costs 10,000 won (about $9) for adults. If you recall, this is the same price as the palace admission. Unlike the palaces, I found the money not worth spending at Seoul/Namsan tower. Basically, the ticket gets you a crowded elevator ride, and then an even more crowded walk around the highest viewing point. The view is good, but not much better than the view from the second level, and the line to go back down the elevator took about 15 minutes. I can say I did it, but that is about all.

The secondary level (with the platform) was also hosting a performance of traditional sword forms when I arrived, which was very cool to watch. In addition, this is the location of the iconic “love locks,” that couples are encouraged to leave to commemorate their relationships.

The wall of love padlocks

This area was the setting for filming several scenes from Kdramas, including My Love from Another Star/별에서 온 그대 , an adorable romantic comedy/drama about an alien who falls in love with an actress (not nearly as strange as it sounds).

Do Min-joon (Kim Soo-Hyun) and Cheon Song-yi (Jun Ji-Hyun) visit Seoul Tower in My Love from Another Star

The view heading down

Instead of another person (or alien) to keep me company while I looked at everything, I had my walking playlist (is it surprising that I have a walking playlist?). It is lovely walk in a beautiful place with good music, and it helps ease any worries or troubles of the day/week. To be honest, I couldn’t have done anything better for my last day in Seoul and my last week before heading back to school.

The inevitable stairs

Naturally, walking down Namsan was easier than going up, though there were still a lot of stairs! Surprisingly, I wasn’t so tired after the subway ride home, so I decided to continue my walking tour back closer to my hostel. I watched the sunset, and then headed in to pack back up before heading off to Pohang, and school! But more to come on that later 😉

HIGHLIGHTS FROM MY SOLO WALKING/HIKING PLAYLIST:

High Hopes – Panic! At the Disco: I love the energy of this song combined with the vaudeville meets gospel sound. And of course, Brendon Urie’s amazing, powerful vocals. It will get you moving and singing along, helping you climb stairs with energy!

Daydream (백일몽)JHope : Spunky, bright, and happy. I never get tired of this song, and the catchy tune helps you keep moving. JHope slides between rapping and singing so effortlessly, and his voice seems to be dancing with the beat. This is a must for any upbeat playlist.

Pineapple SkiesMiguel: Another feel-good tune that will keep you moving to the beat. It’s like listening to a vacation. Miguel’s voice has richness and rasp in just the right amounts and I could listen to him sing all day long. Even if I’m in a bad mood, the song’s catchy refrain of “everything’s gonna be alright” combined with observations about the outside world gives me a good feeling.

Island Winner: Beachy synth pop with a catchy refrain that’s easy to pick up even if you don’t know Korean. Winner are an underrated (in my opinion) group of talented guys with fun songs and great vocals. It’s a simple song, but it makes you want to dance. Or go to the beach. Either way, it’s a really fun summer song and it’s a must on all my summer playlists.

Galway Girl Ed Sheeran: My favorite Sheeran track, this song is fast paced and obviously inspired by Irish celtic/folk music. It’s catchy and fun to dance to, and I love the fiddle, pipe, synth, and guitar combo so much. If Ed Sheeran stuck to this sort of music all the time he would always be on repeat for me! I love the cry in his voice combined with the instrumentals *so good*

Blooming DayEXO-CBX: A subunit of one of the biggest K-pop groups of all time, CBX tends toward a more playful, retro vibe than the complete group. Blooming Day is a cute, flirty song with throbbing bass and beautiful harmonizing. While it might seem more suited to the dance hall, I think it’s perfect for making it up sharp inclines or other areas where you need as much energy as possible!

Next to Me – Emeli Sandé: Another one of my all-time favorite songs. You can’t beat that tambourine and piano intro. When you combine that with the power and soul of Emeli’s voice, add the build of the song with her positive lyrics, you get magic. I love Emeli Sandé, and this song is a perfect vehicle for her voice and talent.

Come Over– MRSHLL: Now that you’ve been amped up, it’s time to slow it down just a bit with talented r & b vocalist MRSHLL and his velvety voice. With a calypso-ish beginning, and just the right amount of drums to cushion MRSHLL’s vocals, this songs builds into a crooning chorus that flows between Korean and English. MRSHLL is one of my favorite musical discoveries of the past year, and he is extremely talented. If you like dance/house mixed with some soul, then I would recommend you check out his entire EP: breathe.

Magic ShopBTS/방탄소년단: A soft, beautiful song written for their fanbase, BTS really surprised me with Magic Shop. The lyrics are heartfelt and touching, and it’s got a quiet sort of intensity that builds throughout the song into the chorus. Gorgeous, soaring vocals, a dance/house pulse, and genuine sweetness make this the perfect BGM for a walk through beautiful scenery.

Flower Road – BIGBANG: As readers of this blog probably remember, I love BIGBANG so much. And while any one of their songs would be good on this playlist, I love the alternating strong vocals from Daesung and Taeyang (mostly) with the softness of Seungri’s, complemented by GD’s lazy sing-rapping, and T.O.P’s always-gorgeous husky voice. In other words, I love the way their unique sounds all blend together in this bittersweet but upbeat. grooving track that they recorded before members left for the army.

Bonus: Lost Starscover of the song by Adam Levine, sung by Jungkook/정국 (BTS): Melancholy, powerful , and sung with more emotional depth and awareness than one would expect from the youngest member and lead vocalist of BTS, Jungkook’s powerful yet sweet voice is perfectly complemented by the simplicity of the acoustic guitar and strings arrangement. Though this isn’t as upbeat as the rest of the songs on my list, it’s the perfect song to reconcile the feelings of both exhilaration and sadness I feel when I’m out alone and wandering. And when he gets to the secondary part of the chorus *faints* his falsetto is a thing of true beauty. He infuses so much meaning into the lyrics that I will never get over it.

Have you ever watched a Korean Drama? Do you have a good walking/jogging playlist (share the link below if you have one!)? Hopefully this is still interesting to people – if not, let me know! Do you have any questions about Seoul or things I saw there? Thanks for reading!